Albuquerque Journal

Fiction No Match For NCAA Rules
JIM BELSHAW Of the Journal

Deep in the DNA of everyone in the newspaper trade, there lies a novel. We’re always working on it, crafting it, polishing it — and some of us even sit down long enough to write it.
   
But I try to stay away from fiction here. Too many complications arise when you start writing fiction in newspapers.

   
Write fiction in a newspaper, and pretty soon you have yourself a major editor problem, newspaper editors famously being — how to say it? — impediments to fiction, even if you manage to make it literary and not at all middlebrow.

   
But I digress.

   
On Sunday past, I told of a moment in the Pit when Liz and I tried to get into the Lobo store but were told that NCAA tournament rules prohibited entrance from inside the Pit.

   
The friendly — and sympathetic — official said we could enter the store only from outside the Pit, and if we went outside, we couldn’t get back in, even with a ticket stub.

   
This struck me as bit odd, but large organizations like the NCAA make odd rules all the time, and this one seemed to make life difficult for the fine Lobo store as well as us.

   
Readers wrote; one of them accused me of writing “fiction.” I’ll get to that in a moment. First, other readers.

   
We begin with Bob Ferguson, who wrote: “I went to the same UNM/West Virginia game and was told by a gate attendant at the Pit that I could not bring in the Albuquerque Journal newspaper, which I was planning on reading at halftime. ‘NCAA rules,’ I was told.

   
“I had to ask the attendant three times if he was kidding,” Bob continued. “He certainly could not be serious … but he was. I left that entrance and returned shortly with the newspaper stuffed down my pants. In short, the NCAA is completely out of control.”

   
Stuffed down his pants.

   
Oh, I do love the American spirit. And in service to the local newspaper, as well.

   
Next is Paul Hartenberger. After watching 11/2 games, he asked an usher if he could step
outside one of the Pit entrance doors to get some fresh air.
   
His recollection of the conversation goes like this:

   
Paul: “Can I step outside to get some fresh air and reenter with my ticket stub?”

   
Usher: “You can go outside, but you can’t come back in, even with your ticket stub. Sorry, it’s against NCAA rules. However, if you’re a smoker, you can to go (another exit) and go outside in the roped-in area and smoke (and come back in).”

   
Paul: “But smoking is bad for your health.”

   
Usher: No response.

   
Paul: “But secondhand smoke can kill you.”

   
Usher: “Sorry, it’s against NCAA rules.”

   
(Going back in was against NCAA rules. So far as I know, the NCAA is silent on secondhand smoke.)

   
Anyway, why would anyone want to make fiction go up against a couple of good, true stories like those?

   
An unhappy reader — “a lobo fan” — said nothing of the kind had happened to him/her. A kindly ticket taker allowed “a lobo fan” to leave, enter the store and re-enter the Pit.

   
To which one could only say, “Good for the both of you.”

   
The e-mail from “a lobo fan” included a “Merchandising Policies” text for my edification and this: “i hope the next time u decide to write a piece of fiction …”

   
The next time I write a piece of fiction, you’ll be the first person I invite to the book signing.

   
Peace. Be careful out there. Don’t forget to wear your seat belt.

Write to Jim Belshaw at The Albuquerque Journal, P.O. Drawer J, Albuquerque, NM 87103; telephone — 823-3930; e-mail —
jbelshaw@abqjournal.com.