Santa Fe New Mexican

College 101: Learning to live with criticism
Hunter Riley | Generation: Next

In college there will be many things that students have to deal with — getting your own groceries, making new friends, finding classes you like and dealing with the professors who teach those classes.

In dealing with all these things, you will be criticized. Criticism is something that can be really hard to deal with, especially if it isn't of the constructive sort. Maybe the criticism is coming from your friends, parents, boyfriend/girlfriend or teachers. The worst kind of criticism can come from a stranger — someone who you have no connection to and because of that, it seems the easiest solution is to throw the criticism away and not think of it again.

As nice as that might be, I think that part of the college experience is about growing and learning. Learning to deal with the criticism is important because you won't always have Mommy and Daddy to cry to. At some point, young adults need to figure out how to deal with "the hard stuff" on their own. Criticism coming from someone who doesn't know you is not always easy to deal with because we know that the person criticizing us doesn't know our good qualities.

So how do we deal with this? It is important to think of it as a tool for growing. Even though some criticism is undeserved, it does us more good to learn from it than to get hurt or angry about it. The knee-jerk reaction to criticism is often anger. This is a hard thing to counter and the only advice I have is that learning to use your anger in a positive and productive way will do you more good than kicking and screaming.

Understanding that someone is finding a flaw in your words or actions can also be a great way to improve yourself. It is kind of nice to think we are flawless, but that's not the case. If possible, we should take the criticism we get and try and see where it came from.

If the criticism is something that we can't use to improve ourselves, we can still respond in a mature fashion. If we respond as a mature person, not only will it surprise the criticizer, it might also make them doubt their own criticism.

These are some things I find helpful when I am faced with harsh words.

As a college freshman, you will experience much criticism so you might as well just try and make the best of it.

Hunter Riley is a 2007 graduate of Santa Fe High School. She is a freshman at the University of New Mexico. You can reach her at hunter_riley@hotmail.com.