Author: Elliedragon
Pairing: Alex/Olivia
Rating:  Everyone
Spoilers: Major spoilers for "Loss".
Word Count: 953
Disclaimer: Though our production logos look similar Coyote Studios nor I have any claim to the L&O: SVU characters.
Summary: The immediate effects of the events that occur during "Loss".
Behind the Fade
An SVU Fanfiction

    Olivia didn't even hear the sirens as the ambulance pulled up in the street. She just kept talking to her, trying desperately to keep her awake, to make her respond. Still, Alex didn't move. She barely felt Elliott's hands on her shoulders, pulling her away so the paramedics could do their jobs. He must have guided her to the ambulance and helped her climb in but she didn't remember it. All Olivia's focus was on Alex's motionless form. The image of Alex with an oxygen mask over her face and the paramedic performing chest compressions burned itself into Olivia's mind, later to haunt her nightmares.

    "Alex! Alex, Sweetheart, you hang in there baby. Alex, can you hear me? Alex, please, stay with me baby, please."

    At the hospital, Olivia lost sight of Alex as they wheeled her into the Emergency Surgery.

    "I'm sorry Ma'am but you'll have to wait for the doctor in the waiting room." Someone dressed in a white uniform told her. Olivia didn't know what to do then. She raked her hand through her hair and started to pace. All the thoughts she had kept at bay while talking to Alex came flooding to the surface. "They tried to kill her.... Oh god, what if they did? Lexi, don't leave me!" She didn't realize she was saying her thoughts out loud.

    "Liv. Liv! Olivia!" Elliott grabbed hold of her, forcing her back to the moment. "You've got to pull it together, Liv. I know you're scared out of your mind right now but Cragen, Munch, and Fin are on their way here." That sobered her up a little. Everyone had their suspicions about Olivia but Alex was a different story. The world she was brought up in wouldn't accept who she was and she and Olivia had chosen to keep their relationship quiet. Only Elliott had known. "Look at me." He cupped her check, holding her attention on him. "You have to be strong now, alright? Be strong for Alex. Can you do that?" She nodded but her jaw quivered as she fought the tears.

    By the time the rest of the squad arrived, Elliott had managed to get Olivia to sit down. Every nerve in her body was on edge but she was afraid she'd spill the coffee her partner had gotten for her if she didn't sit still. The irrational fear that Elliott would get mad at her if she did held her down. She couldn't take having a fight with him, not now. She felt so small and lost. She heard Elliott fill the squad in and everyone but him took a seat in the room. He, instead, stood on Liv's side of between her and the door.

    Four hours later a woman dressed in blue scrubs with a mask hanging from her neck entered the waiting room. Liv pushed the coffee cup into Elliott's hands before bolt for the doctor.

    "Alex, is she...?" The doctor looked at the ground and Olivia's voice trailed away.

    "I'm sorry... There was too much blood loss and the shock to her body... We lost her."

    Olivia's vision was spinning and blurring in and out. Elliott and Fin caught her before she collapsed, leading her to a chair. The doctor called for a nurse and some equipment which they used to make sure Olivia, herself, didn't need to be admitted. They gave her a sedative and sent her home with Elliot and a prescription for more.


    That night, in the hospital room guarded by two federal agents, Alex awoke to the beeping and hum of the machines in the room. Looking around her she found that the people at her bedside were not Olivia or Elliott as she would have expected but Hammond and one of his lackeys.

    "Where's Liv?" She managed.

    "Ms. Cabot. I'm sorry to tell you this but you're officially dead."

    "What?! What are you talking about? Where's Olivia?"

    "I believe she was sent home right after the doctors told her you had died." Hammond said.

    Alex began trying to unhook herself form the machines, calling Hammond an asshole and colorfully asking where her clothes were.

    "Ms. Cabot this is the only way to keep you alive. If you remain 'dead' then Velez will have no reason to continue trying to kill you. You'll be able to live your life without a detail. You can live.

    "And what if I don't want to go into Witness Protection." Alex glared at him.

    "You don't have a choice. Everything has been taken care of, the paperwork has been signed." Hammond told her. "You can maintain your new identity or you can go back to being on Velez's hit list. If he knows you're alive but can't find you, where do you think he'll look for you? Who do you think he'll go after to get the information first?"

    Alex froze. "He'd go for my family. My mother and..."

    "Exactly"

    "But you don't understand. I need to see Olivia. I can't live if I know that she thinks I'm dead. I won't be the cause of her pain and I'll be damned if I'm going to let you hurt her like that."

    "I'm sorry."

    "I have to see her! She has to know!" She yelled at him as he shook his head. "I'll find a way to tell her Hammond, you know I will."

    "I suppose you want to tell Stabler too." Hammond scoffed.

    "She'll tell him anyway. I will be the biggest pain in your ass until you let me see her, explain to her, let me apologize." Alex's jaw was set. She was determined to go through with her threat and Hammond knew she was stubborn enough to succeed.