The Tor Family Flees Cambodia

And Lands in Denton

Denton, TX - 1977 to 1982

Len Tor was a “Lion.” That was the meaning of the name “Tor:” he would go when and where he wished, and he would take his family with him. He was, first and foremost, a survivor.

Len knew that to stay in Cambodia meant death for him. In early 1973, he had served in the emperor’s army, making him a marked man when Pol Pot and his band of devils, the Khmer Rouge, took over the country and killed thousands. The movie “The Killings Fields” is an accurate portrayal of the conditions in which the Tor family found themselves. Yeth (pronounced “Yet”), Len’s wife, had seen her father and other prisoners bludgeoned to death while sitting in a line on the ground, struck with a single blow from behind with a baseball-like bat. It was terrible. Len had to hide in the woods while the gang of red-bandanna-wearing men scourged their village. They decided to flee to a refugee camp located in Battambang, Thailand.

There were four members of the family when the Tors fled their homeland: Len, Yeth, and their two small children, son Chamroen and daughter Samnang. They had to leave at night and travel mostly during dark hours, hiding during the day.

Len told us that he had not taken enough water along; they all got terribly thirsty creeping through the wild woods. Of course, the other major danger in their walk to freedom was the multitude of mines hooked up to trip wires which were planted all along the trails. Yeth demonstrated in our living room how she tiptoed through the trip wires to avoid causing an explosion. She stood with feet wide-spread, leaned over to the front, reached back between her legs to grasp the back edge of her skirt and pull it forward and upward, then lift her feet high, stepping delicately and slowly to the next clear spot in the grass. She could not adequately describe to us the magnitude of her fear. Len came through those scary stretches carrying, one at a time, his children. And they were lucky; all came out alive and whole, and they made it to the refugee camp.

The camp was safe, and they had food and water. Len was recognized early as a leader, and he was put in charge of their small compound within the camp. Very soon, they entered their names on list indicating their desire to transfer to the United States. But in the meantime, they weren’t idle; there was work to do and children to tend. There were also good times; their second son, Tharath (pronounced TAH-rot) was born in 1980. And when they left for America, Yeth had just become pregnant with their fourth child!

The ladies of our church had requested a family with small children to come to our church and community. The transfer was organized through the United Methodist Committee for Overseas Relief (UMCOR). We thought we were welcoming a mother, father, and three children when they came to us in the summer of 1982. Surprise! Another baby was expected in January - and that’s another story (see “Mary Tor Arrives On the Bathroom Floor”).

Coming to Denton was a totally shocking experience for the Tor family. In Cambodia, they had lived in a house with dirt floors; their electricity was a single line that kept a single light bulb glowing in the large room. Most of their cooking was done on a firehole outside the house, and no one had refrigerators. Yeth had never held an ice cube, and when she first got one in Denton, she dropped it quickly, exclaiming, “It’s HOT!” Her 10-year-old son Chamroen, who soon became known as simply “Ron,” thought his mother was very funny and laughed heartily.

The Tor house in Cambodia had no plumbing. Water had to be carried from a hand-pumped community well, which was maintained in a fenced-in area. No one was allowed to “go to the bathroom” inside the fence, but all other wooded areas were used for human waste disposal. “Flush toilets? What a novel idea”, thought Len.

Another change: in their homeland, Len Tor was “Tor Len,” and Yeth Tor was “Tor Yeth,” the surname said first. Their new name arrangement took some getting used to. And when I told them they would now be called “Mr. and Mrs. Len Tor,” they were highly amused.

The house on Alice Street was small and cozy, complete with telephone and electrical appliances. Food and clothes were provided in abundance by all members of our church, and a sizable committee of FUMC women took care of every need.

When the women were organizing to handle the Tors’ relocation project, they formed several small committees to be responsible for each area of need. Katherine took a look at the list and chose to be on the “Transportation Committee.” After having care for the Umo family from Nigeria and the Leon newlyweds from Hong Kong and Chile, she thought transportation would not be so demanding. HAH! She, Mary Evans, Ruth Davis, Elinor Hughes, and a few others were at the Tor home almost daily, and both of us became very concerned and involved. The Tors came to our home on a regular schedule; we got to introduce them to Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and who knows what all! Ron Tor was an immediate whiz at bobbing for apples, and it was obvious that all members of the family were quick and bright.

Len was the only member, however, to have had any formal education. He was fairly understandable in English, reading and writing. Yeth had had no schooling because Cambodian women were not allowed to be educated; they were to stay home and take care of the crops and the household. (I should mention here that streams with fish and fields with wild banana trees were primary food sources.)

Jan Bailey was instrumental in getting the two older children started in school. Ron was 10, so he began school with a half-day in third grade and the other half in fifth grade. Samnang was 6, so she was enrolled in kindergarten. It was slow going for them, because they could not speak other than their Cambodian dialect. But it did not take long for them to catch on. It was a different story for the parents; verbal communication was a continuing problem, and I suspect lack of skill in that area kept Len from moving into any management position. He was a hard worker, and once he knew what the chore was, he could perform well.

Len first got a job in custodial work at UNT, later landing a better-paying job in a research lab in Lewisville, 20 miles south of Denton. It wasn’t too long before the church provided them with a car, and Len learned very quickly how to maintain it. He became a good driver overnight, so to speak. He had a knack for mechanics, and later, in Stockton, California, became a specialist in air-conditioning and heating.

The family moved to California in 1985. And that is another story.