Cars / Projects / Trips / People
Updated 26-Mar-2012 ==== Copyright (c) 2012 Corvairs of New Mexico
CAR STORIES
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THE FITCH SPRINT STORY
An American Hero's Prototype Sports Car
to be Featured at Franklin Lakes Car Show on May 30 2011
Contact: Bob Marlow 201-707-1677 [ Vairted @ optonline.net ]
Midland Park, N.J.
The Corvair powered, Italian-bodied 1966 Fitch Phoenix sports car, the only one
ever built, will be among the attractions at the 35th Annual Franklin Lakes Car
Show and Flea Market on May 30, as part of a special display highlighting the
50th anniversary of the Chevrolet Corvair.
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THE CORVAIR IN THE MAINE WOODS - published November 2008
NO CORVAIR IS AN ISLAND
Jeff Aronson
In March 2008 Dave Huntoon, a member of Corvairs of New Mexico, found some
out-of-date copies of "The Care and Feeding of Your Corvair" and offered
them on Virtual Vairs. He generously sent me one and suggested that I share
my experiences of owning the only Corvair on this Maine island.
Vinalhaven sits 12 miles off the coast of Maine, a 90-minute ferry ride when
weather permits the boats to run. It has all the qualities you'd want in a New
England village with the added bonus of being surrounded by water.
Geographically it's about 9 miles long by 4.5 miles wide, mostly granite with
thin soil, lots of spruce trees and a majestic rocky shoreline. Located in the
western end of Penobscot Bay, it's located in some of the best lobstering
fishing grounds on the East Coast. Most of the 1,200 year round residents earn
their income around the lobster fishery and helping maintain summer houses owned
by people "from away." We have a K-12 school with just over 200 students, small
stores that sell the necessities from groceries to fishing gear supplies, two
churches, one auto repair shop and a library. Over 90% of the population was
born and raised here; I'm a member of them minority group who live and work here
year-round but came from "away" - in my case, 18 years ago from Vermont. Here I
work as a caretaker of summer houses, a house painter, a web site creator and
the editor of a national magazine on Land Rovers.
This island has provided me with many pleasures; one highlight has been my
return to the world of Corvairs. One year ago since I became the second owner of
a maroon 1966 Monza Coupe. The first owner, Susan Rowland, Chatham, NJ, received
the car on January 28, 1996, courtesy of her father. Not only did the Monza come
equipped with the 110hp engine and the new 4-speed transmission, but her Dad
opted for an AM "P.B." [pushbutton] radio, a spare tire lock and black floor
mats [$4.90]. He didn't haggle much as the sale price was $2,275.
The car took her through college and married life in New Jersey and South
Carolina. In the early 1990s, she and her husband John Williams bought a summer
house on Crockett's Cove, on the northwestern corner of our small island. The
Corvair became their "island car," residing on their waterfront property much of
the year until starting up anew every summer.
While Susan Rowland enjoyed her first new Corvair in 1966, my first Corvair, a
very-used 1964 Monza convertible 110/4 speed, came to me in 1968. I approached
the car with caution. Auto dealerships had already consigned the Corvair to the
rubbish bin [it came cheap]. Compared to my earlier British cars, it seemed
roomy, fairly quiet and airtight, warm in the winter and utterly capable; you
can imagine my automotive skepticism after a Morris Minor, a Hillman Minx and a
Triumph Spitfire. I remember only two actual repairs, one for a rusted out gas
line, the other for a broken generator bracket. It took me from the University
of Vermont to graduate school in Ohio, and for one weekend, back to my hometown
on Cape Cod, without incident. I sold it when my then-fiancee claimed she
couldn't get it out of second gear. Both decisions were mistakes.
I compounded these errors by returning to British cars for the next decades, not
thinking much about Corvairs until I spotted the Williams' Corvair in front of
our grocery store early one evening. John Williams could not get the headlights
to work; remembering a similar problem with my Land Rover, I wiggled wires
around his dimmer switch and "fixed" the lights. I also peered inside and
outside the car and told John how much I enjoyed my earlier Corvair.
He never forgot the repair and approached me when he and his wife Susan decided
her Corvair needed a new home. My mistake was, of course, in taking it for a
test drive. Gears graunching [maladjusted clutch cable], engine knocking and
smoking [gummy rings and valves, worn points] and brakes grabbing [decades-old
brake fluid], I still loved every minute of the drive. With two '66 Land Rover
Series II-A's and an '80 Triumph TR-7 Spider, I hardly needed another car. They
wanted the car to have a good home and reduced their asking price to well below
$1,000, so I became its second owner. As I drove it home the directional lever
fell off in my hand. Sigh - this would be a short honeymoon.
Please don't confuse me with someone who collects cars. All my cars must justify
their existence by being driven. One Land Rover has over 500,000 miles; one
friend suggested that my Land Rover was the only one he knew "that could be
detailed with a garbage bag." My TR-7 has 106,000 miles, mostly from driving in
very rural areas. I need my cars for work on the island and as transport when
work takes me to the mainland. Nor do I have the income to support trailer
queens.
Island living teaches you about self-sufficiency. We're 90 minutes by ferry to
the mainland so we much prefer to find what we need "on island." You can fish or
dig clams for dinner, grown your own vegetables, find raspberries, blackberries
and blueberries for desert. Most of us heat with wood cut from the trees blown
down after winter storms. Our dump has a "swap shop," an old trailer that houses
all the utensils, clothing, old machinery and rope that you'd ever need. Still,
owning the sole Corvair on the island challenged me. Our local mechanic, who
remembers every island car as parents remember their children, could not recall
completing many repairs on the car. As an automotive editor I knew of Clark's,
whose catalogue became invaluable. As a web site designer I found Virtual Vairs,
the Corvair Forum and a few other enthusiasts in Maine. As an active member of a
community I joined CORSA and received a copy of "Corvair Basics." Improving the
running the car from this island seemed daunting until I tapped our local
resources.
During a dump run I mentioned to the dumpmaster, a gearhead himself, that the
car pinged and smoked badly. "Well," he said, "Lamont has just emptied out his
old store and brought some car stuff here." I peered in a shed and found two
metal cans of Cleveland Distillates Motor-Kleanz. As the song says, "it smelled
like turpentine and looked like India ink" but within 5 minutes of driving, the
valve clatter had gone and the smoking had diminished considerably. Adjusting
and polishing the points with emery cloth, then timing the car, reduced the
pinging [sadly, only regular grade gas is sold at our one gas outlet, a pump at
the Fisherman's Co-Op]. A Unisyn purchased for my TR-7 also helped balance the
carbs on the Monza. A check of the brake shoes and drums revealed some glazing
but no significant leaks; cleaning everything and replacing the old brake fluid
helped reduce the brake grabbing significantly.
When a friend cleaned out his father-in-law's workshop, he found lots of old
power tools, automotive polishes and greases; they all came home with me. Along
with some bondo [purchased at our local boatyard] the small rust holes have been
covered up and a great deal of elbow grease has restored some luster to the
original paint. New heater hoses provided me with enough heat to use the car
during our snowy, cold winters, and enjoy the benefits of rear-wheel drive
traction.
Our island roads don't go on very far but they sure do twist and turn. A new set
of radial tires helped bolster the car's handling and make every drive its own
autocross. The car has enough poke to induce some throttle oversteer - which I
love - and the desired light steering touch so you can throw it through every
corner. Island kids and teenagers compliment me on the car; summer people stop
you to tell their own Corvair stories or those of their parents.
Maine has a nascent Corvair club, Dirigo Corvairs, which has provided me excuses
to take the car to the mainland twice, once for a 2 hour round trip and once for
a 6 hour round trip. In September, I'll make the 11 hour round trip [3 hours of
it on the ferry] to western Massachusetts for the bi-annual Clark's Corvair
"Fall Classic" with the Bay State Corvair Club. With luck I'll be able to convoy
with other Maine Corvair owners. I'm sticking a tent, sleeping bag and cooler
into the folded rear seat of the Monza and, as we say on Vinalhaven, "heading
for America." It will be a "well suhr, wicked good time."
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AUSTIN-HEALEY 2000 ELECTRIC OVERDRIVE
The following article appeared in the Miata Internet newsgroup:
http://miata.net/
Date: April 2003
From: Jim Pittman, CORVAIRS OF NEW MEXICO
Time for one of my Austin-Healey 3000 Mk III stories. My 1965 Healey had a
four-speed with electric overdrive. It worked only on third and fourth gears,
controlled by a toggle switch on the dash. How were first, second and reverse
prohibited from working with the overdrive? There was another switch mounted
on (or maybe in) the gearbox. When the shift lever was on the RIGHT side of
the H-pattern (and therefore in 3rd or 4th gears) the gearbox switch was
turned on and the dash switch could control the overdrive. When the shift
lever was to the LEFT side of the H-pattern (and therefore in 1st or 2nd or
reverse) overdrive was off and the dash switch didn't do anything.
The overdrive was great when cruising down the highway in fourth, but the
third overdrive ratio was pretty useless since it was nearly the same as
fourth direct.
But, with the overdrive you had a six-speed gearbox! Well, really a five-speed
since third OD and fourth direct were so close.
Now, the Healey had a stump-puller (i.e., very low) ratio for first gear, and
the second gear ratio was pretty low as well. Then there was a big gap to the
third gear ratio, and then a smaller gap to fourth. If you plotted them on
paper they might look like this:
I found when shifting up (or down) through the gears, that gap between second
and third was very irritating because after the shift your RPMs would tend to
be too low (or too high) for the next gear. I never learned why a sports car
with race car pretensions had such gear ratios, which seemed to me so irritating
in normal town and highway driving.
Someone suggested that it would be easy to disable the gearbox-mounted switch,
making the overdrive available in every gear (including reverse) but warned
that you should only actually use it with second because the torque in first
would damage the overdrive unit, and NEVER NEVER NEVER use it in reverse. But,
if you could limit yourself to second gear, you'd get a much neater set of gear
ratios, like this:
In effect, you'd have a seven-speed gearbox! Well, really a six-speed since
third OD and fourth direct were so close.
It did not take me long to disable that switch. Then I spent a lot of time
mounting a thumb-operated switch ON THE GEARSHIFT KNOB so I could change into
and out of overdrive while shifting! Wow! Was this a neat toy or what! I would
switch off OD, start in first, shift to second, switch to OD in second, shift
to third while simultaneously switching off OD, switch on OD in third, and
finally shift to fourth, still in OD.
Complicated? Yes, but part of the challenge of driving a sports car is learning
how to use the transmission efficiently. It soon became a skill.
I tried to always use the clutch when switching in and out of overdrive in order
to save gear train wear. It just seemed to me that making the car lurch when you
switched into or out of overdrive couldn't be good.
It would make a great story of youthful folley if I could tell you that within
a week I accidentally engaged overdrive at 5,500 RPM in first gear and shelled
the overdrive unit, but actually I was very careful and only used OD in second,
third and fourth and never had any problems with it. The switch mounted on the
gearshift knob was a great improvement and I enjoyed using it a lot.
I only had my 1965 Austin-Healey 3000 Mk III for a year. When I sold the car I
carefully explained to the new owner why he should NEVER NEVER NEVER use the
overdrive switch in first or reverse, but whether he did or not I never knew.
- Jim Pittman - 1996 Miata - 1990 Civic - 1965 Corvair
}}} Electric overdrive? What's that?
}}
}} Some British cars of the '50s and '60s were offered with an optional
}} Laycock-deNormanville overdrive unit. It was a separate gearbox
}} installed on the rear of the transmission, activated by an electric
}} switch on the dash or shift lever, which usually worked in all but the
}} lowest forward gear. That is, being British, when they worked at all...
}} --
}} Lanny Chambers, St. Louis, USA
}} '94C
}} the alignment page:
}} http://www.hummingbirds.net/alignment.html
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THE YENKO STINGER STORY: BY BOB HELT, VEGAS VAIRS
REFERENCES:
http://www.corvair.org/chapters/chapter891/newsletters/vv2009_12.pdf
http://www.corvair.org/chapters/chapter891/newsletters/vv2010_01.pdf
The Yenko Stinger Story
by Bob Helt
In 1964, when the news was released to Chevrolet Dealers that there would be a
new high-performance Corvair and engine for 1965, Don Yenko, General Manager of
his father's Yenko Chevrolet dealership in Canonsburg, Pennsylvania, was very
interested. Don, was a long-time SCCA Corvette racer and he foresaw great
possibilities in this new vehicle. Of course this was the 1965 Corvair Corsa
with the 140-horsepower engine that drew Don's interest.
So he bought one of the 1965 Corsas and, using it as the racing prototype, began
to see what it would do. During all of 1965 Don continued to be favorable
impressed with this cars performance in various racing events. With the 1965
rear suspension design, and Heavy Duty handling package with quick steering, Don
was convinced that the handling was so good, the chassis was not going to
require much effort to make it competitive in SCCA racing events. But while the
handling was great, the engine just didn't have enough power to keep up with the
competition. So with the help of a mutual friend, Don was able to get famous
racer Stirling Moss to do a test drive of his new machine. Expecting an
unfavorable report, to Don's surprise, Stirling also found the handling to be
superb but lacking in performance otherwise. He is quoted as saying, "It handles
as well as any production Sports Car and better than most."
So sometime during the year, Don went to Chevrolet and discussed the possibility
of making the 140-hp Corsa into a race car for SCCA competition. As the story is
told, Chevrolet management already saw the publicity possibilities there and was
quite receptive. So they turned Don over to a small group of Corvair engineers
who were already doing R&D development work on these engines. Thus, was the team
of Dick Rutherford, Don Stoeckel and Jerry Thompson (R.S.T. Engineering) formed
and supported by Chevrolet. RST did the development work and testing to convert
normal 140-hp production engines into competitive race engines for Don. By the
end of 1965, RST was getting a real 210 dyno horsepower (later 220-hp) from
their highly modified 140-hp engines. This impressed Don sufficiently for him to
place a vehicle order with Chevrolet for 100 Corsa Sport Coupes. This quantity
was the minimum number required by the SCCA for homogation. But since these were
standard production cars, all engine modifications had to be handled separately,
with relatively simple modifications being done at the Yenko dealership and the
true SCCA race engines prepared by RST Engineering and dyno tested at Chevrolet.
Chevrolet promoted Don's program by authorizing him to use the "Stinger" name,
which they already owned. They also made available several non-production
accessories to be optionally installed on these 100 vehicles, such as dual
master cylinder braking systems and 3.89:1 rear-axle-ratio differentials.
Don took delivery of these 100 1966 4-speed Corsas in December of 1965 and
modified them into three different "stages" of tune according to the customer's
desires and Stinger specifications. All Stingers used manual 4-speed
transmissions as standard equipment.
STAGE I STINGERS
Stage I was designated for "street use" and gave the Stinger a distinctive
outward appearance with fiberglass rear-pillar landau panels and Stinger
emblems, special fiberglass engine lid and white external body paint with dark
blue striping. Mild engine modifications were included such as tuned exhaust
headers and calibrated carburetors. The Stage I engine was rated at
160-horsepower (probably at 5200 RPM), but this was likely gross horsepower and
comparable to the 140-hp rating of the production engine.
STAGE II STINGERS
Stage II was designated for "High-Speed Touring". It also included all of the
Stage I items, but the engine was modified with substantial improvements. Piston
clearances were increased and the pistons were notched for valve clearance. The
compression ratio was increased to 10:1, and a "high-performance cam" was
installed (with appropriate rev kit).
While some Stinger documents state that this was the same 300-degree camshaft as
used in the Stage III engines, other Stinger documents indicate that a
different, less radical camshaft was used for the Stage II engines. Possibly,
initial Stage II engines, rated at 175-hp, used a less radical camshaft while
later Stage II engines used the Stage III 300-degree camshaft to achieve the
190-hp rating. So a question remains as to what camshaft or camshafts were
really used for Stage II engines. This question is raised because of the
possibility of over-camming a street-vehicle with the 300-degree racing camshaft
and losing low-speed performance.
The #4 main bearing was replaced with an intermediate-type bearing, and all main
bearing clearances were set to Yenko specs. The flywheel was lightened and
bolted. Carburetor turn cut-out fixes were installed. The Stage II engine
developed 175 dyno-horsepower initially (probably at around 5800 RPM) and later
190-hp.
STAGE III STINGERS
Stage III was Don's all-out entry to SCCA sanctioned racing. It had everything
the Stages I and II had, plus additional extensive engine work, with a
300-degree "Super High-Performance" racing cam (and rev kit), forged 0.040" O/S
pistons and ported heads with a 10.5 CR. Engines were penetrant inspected and
balanced. In addition, there were many other engine modifications. Carburetors
were highly modified for racing with the throttle bores increased to 1-1/2".
This engine was initially dyno tested to produce 210-horsepower (likely at
around 6000 RPM) and in January 1967 increased to 220-hp.
To ensure engine reliability and durability, Don set normal maximum RPM limits
of all his engines at 6000; and 6200 if the engine was balanced. In a pinch he
recommended an absolute maximum RPM of 6300 (not balanced) and 6600 (if
balanced).
As far as is known, there were a total of only eight Stage III engines built.
The first two were built by RST Engineering at Chevrolet for the initial racing
effort. Both engines powered Stingers in the 1966 Refrigerator Bowl race in
January at Marlboro, MD. Later, after July, six more engines were built,
probably at the dealership by Yenko's staff.
Yenko Stingers were homologated by the SCCA and placed in the D/P class (D
Production) which was somewhat of a disappointment to Don because of the high-
performance cars the Stinger would have to compete against in that class. But
despite this apparent handicap, and the fact that much of the competition was
factory sponsored with considerable money and technical help available to them,
Stingers won many 1966 championships. A most notable 1967 win was by Jerry
Thompson in his Stinger YS-005 who won the D/P class National Championship in
1967. What a wonderful and little known fact! A Corvair Yenko Stinger was SCCA
D-Production Class National Champion in 1967! During this season, it was clocked
at 132 miles per hour at Daytona.
1967 STATUS
Unfortunately, Chevrolet had intended to terminate all Corvair production at the
end of the 1966 model year. But marketing conditions along with Ralph Nader's
book, Unsafe At Any Speed, caused them to re-assess this decision and so Corvair
production was continued for three more model years. However, both the 140-hp
engine (along with the turbocharged engine -- which Yenko never used in his
Stingers) and the Corsa model were discontinued for 1967 at the start of the
model year.
With the discontinuance of the 140-hp engine, Don saw his Stinger program (which
by this time was doing quite well) heading for oblivion. So with a plea to
Chevrolet (some people say directly to Ed Cole) to reinstate the 140-hp engine,
Chevrolet did put it back into production as a Central Office Production Option
(COPO) option. This meant that Corvairs with the 140-hp engine could be ordered
by all of the dealers sometime after January 1967 (However, an air-conditioning
option was not available on these cars since both the 140-hp engine and the
optional Air Injection Reactor [AIR] system -- required on cars delivered in
California -- teamed together, presented an engine-cooling problem). The COPO
ordering system was one previously set up by GM to handle fleet orders that
might have special vehicle requirements.
Don, thus, was able to order 25 Monzas with 140-hp engines (all with an engine
code of RM) and took delivery of these during February of 1967. Apparently, only
14 of these cars were converted to Stingers with the rest being sold as ordinary
Corvairs. In March 1967, the 140-hp engine COPO was extended to include the
optional Powerglide automatic transmission (which now meant a different 140-hp
engine with the 4-degree retarded 95-hp camshaft). Three additional Stingers
with the AIR system were later delivered to the Dana Chevrolet dealership in Los
Angeles, California directly from the factory. Since these Stingers were "made"
at the Chevrolet factory (and not by Yenko), it is not clear just how this was
accomplished. With the decreasing importance of the Corvair at Chevrolet, engine
development and dyno testing was now done by Gulf Oil Research (which was close
to the Yenko dealership), a long time supporter of Don's racing efforts.
Research has shown that only 279 140-hp engines were produced for 1967. Of
course, not all of these engines went into Stingers, some were installed and
sold in standard Corvairs. Of these 279 engines, 165 were with manual
transmissions, and 114 with the Powerglide automatic transmission.
Included in these numbers were eleven engines with the AIR system as required
for delivery in California (six with MT and five with PG).
For 1967, RST Engineering developed a new close-ratio 4-speed manual
transmission for Don's Stingers (modified from the stock 4-speed) that reduced
the gaps between the gear ratios and made a reduction in lap times possible.
Apparently, only three of these close-ratio transmissions were ever built.
LATER YEARS
With the 140-hp engine a standard production option again in 1968 and 1969,
Yenko continued to produce Corvair Stingers for years, modifying both new Monzas
and also existing Corvairs to Stinger standards; and also selling kits for
Corvair owners to do the same. The total number of Stingers produced is unknown,
but is estimated to be fewer than 200.
Don Yenko died in a crash in March 1987 when he was trying to land his aircraft
at Charleston, West Virginia.
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DON HEATH'S BLUE 1967 "DANA CHEVROLET" STINGER COUPE
Last year I had several e-mails about the 1967 Corvair Stinger that was owned
by Don Heath when he lived in Albuquerque in the late 1970s or early 1980s.
I know of no photos of Don Heath's car that have come to light.
All the information I could find out last year on Don and his car
is included in the July 2007 article in our newsletter.
I did not get to know Don at all well and I don't recall hearing
anything directly from him about his car or his work, either in
California or in New Mexico. I was vaguely aware that he did some
kind of photography work and had the back seat of the car removed,
the better to carry bulky photography equipment.
Don lived in an apartment just off the campus of the University of
New Mexico in the early 1970s. The apartment had a garage whose
door was often open and I remember seeing his medium metallic blue
(as I remember it) car with its distinctive rear deck spoiler in
that garage several times when I'd walk across campus and walk along
that street. I recall knowing that the Corvair coupe was a 1967 and
therefore thinking it must have been a Monza. I didn't hear anything
about the car's history so in later years when people would say, Don
Heath used to be in Albuquerque and owned a 1967 Stinger, I didn't
believe it.
Sorry I can't be more help.
Jim Pittman - CORVAIRS OF NEW MEXICO newsletter editor
The next e-mail was interesting:
Subject: Re: DANA Stinger?
From: kaseyv3 @ bellsouth.net
Date: 2008-Aug-20 17:31:50 MDT
To: jimp @ unm.edu
Jim, Hi, my name is Kasey Vandenberg, I now own Don Heath's Corvair, I
tried to find him for over 3 years, no luck.. I'm sure there will be photos
of the car that he had taken over the years.. Any family you know of, that I
could get in touch with, Thanks for all your help, it sure has added to my
knowing more about the man, the car I now have... Take care -- Kasey
And then this:
Subject: Re: DANA Stinger?
From: kaseyv3 @ bellsouth.net
Date: 2008-Aug-21 06:15:47 MDT
To: jimp @ unm.edu
Jim, Do you have a extra copy of the newsletter that I could put with my
records? I sure wish I could have found Don, and talked about the car...
Any help you can give would be great, thanks so much .. Kasey Vandenberg
I sent a copy of the PDF version or our July newsletter to Kasey.
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WENDELL WALKER'S PROGRESS
Wednesday April 6th, 2011 (Albuquerque, NM)
We were all pleased to see Wendell at our meeting tonight where
he received a round of applause. He had a ride both to and from the
meeting and said he was glad to be back at his home in Rio Rancho.
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CANON CITY TRI-STATE HARD LUCK STORY
Subject: Fwd: home again?
From: KermitShld @ aol.com
Date: 2010-May-31 12:41:28 MDT
I sent an email to Ken Farr the President of the Tucson Corvair Club. He and a
friend Ron were in Kansas headed for the Tri-State when an oil cooler started
leaking. They called me in Ca–on City Friday afternoon trying to decide what to
do. Not having heard any more, I was curious if they were still stranded.
This is their story - Kermit
----- Original Message -----
From: _KermitShld @ aol.com_
To: _kfarr2004 @ msn.com_
Sent: Sunday, May 30, 2010 9:24 PM
Subject: home again?
Your story of an oil cooler leak in Kansas on Friday the 21st did not sound like
much fun.
We are sorry that you did not make the event. 102 people attended the banquet
and 37 cars made the show on Saturday in Florence. There were people from
Kansas, California, Utah, Wyoming, New Mexico and Colorado.
How did you get help and when did you get back on the road? Your experiences
would have made you and Ron the winners of the Hard Luck Trophy and significant
recognition.
Best wishes, Kermit Shields PPCC
From: kfarr2004 @ msn.com
To: KermitShld @ aol.com
Sent: 5/31/2010 12:24:09 P.M. MDT
Subj: Re: home again?
We would have won it hands down.
We had a rough machine shop cut a piece of 1/4" x 11/2"x 3" strap metal and
drill 3 holes in it. Then they welded 2 nipples on it for 2 hoses. We got the
hose fittings from True Value and a oil cooler from Napa, and mounted it in
place of the original oil cooler (it worked with a slight drip). We were then on
our way home.
When the first tank of gas got to just below half, it developed a surge. Just
happened to be at an exit. When I pulled off it quit. We had a new fuel pump
with us so we changed it. Still no start, we took the bronze filter out of the
left carb and it started up, we were on our way again.
The next problem, Ron was driving and he lost a belt. No problem, we had extra
belts. We made it into Canon City about 8:30 Saturday night. We talked to a
couple of guys that made your show Sunday morning.
We left early and stopped at Florence and saw a few cars that were in the show.
We left early and got to Deming NM about 8 Sunday night. Had dinner and decided
to spend the night. It was a good thing we did. We got 13 miles from Deming the
next morning. Ron was driving and I saw some smoke from the left side. I waved
to Ron to pull over, again we were at an off ramp.
When he pulled over and went to the side of the ramp the left axle sheared off.
Called AAA and got pulled back to Deming. The tow truck driver stored the car at
his house.
We drove on to Tucson and I took a part off my 1965 coupe. Returned to Deming
the next day, replaced the axle and returned to Tucson. Everything went well.
WHAT A TRIP! -- Ken Farr -- Tucson Corvair Association
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
******* October 2011: SUBJECT: LYNDON JOHNSON
Your characterization of LBJ in the October ENCHANTED CORVAIRS newsletter
was a little harsh. Lyndon Johnson did much good as president. See these
quotes from a recent article:
| REFERENCE: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-15099746
|
| Jesse Jackson's love for often-derided Lyndon Johnson
|
| * Jesse Jackson still has the fire in his belly
| when it comes to the issue of poverty
|
| I meet Jesse Jackson in the auditorium of his offices, a converted
| synagogue. It is an impressive building with sweeping pews and huge
| stained glass windows.
|
| He's rather stately, too: a Chicago institution still trying to stir
| things up, still a radical.
|
| He's tall and immaculate in a brown, pin-striped suit, with an almost
| mild manner quite at odds with the decades-long image of a trouble-
| making firebrand. He tells me that these days he tries to keep his
| passion under control.
|
| I'm fascinated to hear about Jesse Jackson's admiration for an
| often-derided US president: Lyndon Baines Johnson, also known as LBJ.
|
| He tells me that most politicians mainly bother about the visible, the
| well-off, what he calls "passengers on the top deck of the ship".
|
| "Lyndon Johnson was an under-recognised American transformer, focused
| on those in the hull of the ship," says Mr Jackson.
|
| "He came from a very poor background in Texas, and he taught poor
| children. He came bottom-up. Most presidents come top-up, and pay
| their donors back first.
|
| "Lately, you hardly hear politicians use the word poverty; they talk
| about the middle classes all the time."
|
| * Jackson says there has been too much focus on the Kennedys,
| not enough on LBJ
|
| Jackson wants politicians to emulate LBJ's crusade against poverty,
| and has begun his own campaign following in Johnson's footsteps,
| speaking in the Appalachians.
|
| I'm fascinated by LBJ, largely because he is the subject of the most
| magnificent work of political biography ever written. Robert Caro has
| written three volumes so far, and he hasn't even covered LBJ's
| ascension to the White House yet.
|
| LBJ emerges as an immensely skilled politician, a master of the
| darkest arts, crude, a cheat and a liar, who appeared to sacrifice any
| principle or value in his hunger to hang on to power, get more power
| and get what he wanted.
|
| It makes what he did with that power all the more amazing.
|
| He established the Great Society, creating a welfare system and
| expanding the federal government - which conservatives argue did
| damage that is still being felt today.
|
| But he is often remembered for the Vietnam War, the chants of "LBJ,
| LBJ, how many kids did you kill today?" which make him one of the
| Democrats' least-favourite presidents from their own party.
|
| Jesse Jackson says LBJ changed America profoundly. He is, of course,
| talking in part about Johnson's civil rights legislation.
|
| "The 1964 Civil Rights Act made racial segregation illegal," he says.
|
| Thumping the pew for emphasis, he continues: "From Texas to Florida to
| Maryland, we couldn't use a public toilet; could not buy ice cream in
| Howard Johnston [restaurant chain]; we could not rent a room in the
| Holiday Inn. Staunch legal apartheid. Johnson ended that."
|
| But LBJ wasn't just about civil rights for blacks, he says.
|
| "Women often couldn't serve on juries; 18-year-olds got the right to
| vote," he says.
|
| "The whole body democratising democracy is Lyndon Johnson. Fair
| Housing Act. Child Nutrition act, the Clean Air Act, Medicare,
| Medicaid.
|
| "We've done ourselves a disservice focusing on the Kennedys, Camelot
| and how Lyndon Johnson inherited the war and got trapped trying to
| finish it. But Johnson took us way back up to higher moral ground."
|
| Article written by Mark Mardell
| BBC North America editor
******* SUBJECT: CLUB WEB PAGES (modified from a 2007 Email message)
Over the years I have observed many web pages set up by organizations
and individuals. Unfortunately, many follow this pattern:
1. Enthusiasm and energetic initial activity to set it up
2. Perform day-to-day updates to keep up with current events
3. Realization that keeping the page up-to-date is a boring chore
4. Addition of more and more bells & whistles "because you can"
5. Realization that the bells & whistles greatly increase the chore
6. Loss of interest resulting in neglect and stagnation of the page
7. Disappearance of the webmaster, and no one else will take over
I suppose CNM's web page is a success story. It's only possible because
of "The Little Guy" in the back of my head -- you know, the one who has
been editing our newsletter every month since February 1978. He does
all the work, day by day and month by month. He accomplished Phase 1
during several weeks, and usually plays happily in Phase 2.
If "The Little Guy" ever goes on strike, our web page will immediately
go to Phase 7 and die, or at least will change drastically.
To keep "The Little Guy" ignorant of Phases 3 and 5, I try to avoid the
temptation to let him start playing in Phase 4. My guiding principle is
to keep everything as simple as possible. Since my web page lives within
the UNIX operating system on my University computer account and since I
have been a computer geek for 35 years, I have a lot of control of the
web page contents WITHOUT expensive and hard-to-use software. Other
webmasters may not be so fortunate.
******* On Wed, 08 Dec 2010, Bill Lawless wrote:
I just had a chance to read the e-mail you sent about Slyvan's passing.
It was very touching. Tarmo had forwarded it to me. I miss all you guys
and wish I didn't live so far away or I'd still be coming to the meetings.
I haven't had a Corvair in almost 10 yrs now. I wish I was still involved
but I have no place to work on a project car or even store one currently.
My favorite magazine is Hemming's Classic Car which occasionally spotlites
Corvairs.
Bill Lawless
******* On Tue, 26 Oct 2010, Richard & Annette Travis wrote:
Just want to say how much I look forward to your newsletter each month
and to give you a update on my e-mail addresses
We have had a change in our home e-mail address
the new address is annettetravis @ commspeed.net
my work address remains the same travisr @ erau.edu
I was reviewing your friends of Corvairs of New Mexico
list and found our old home address.
I would like to drive my corvair from Prescott Valley AZ to New Mexico
and maybe be able to make a event what is a good time of year to plain
this trip and what would be a good event to attend.
Thanks Richard & Annette Travis
******* On Fri, 20 Nov 2009, Bretz Vetz wrote:
I wanted to take a moment and compliment you and your fellow members on
the excellent newletter you produce every month. I always look forward
to my email copy sent by Sally and Ricki Jannise with Corvair Houston.
I am currently a board member with Corvair Houston and our club always
gets a kick out of seeing what's going on in sunny New Mexico.
Have a great Holiday season with all the trimmings!
Brett Finley -- 63 Spyder CV 150/4 -- 68 Monza CV 140/4
******* SUBJECT: LIBERTARIANS
From: Wassupin2009 @ zol.com
Date: 2009-Oct-23 06:05:00 MDT
I just happened to see the following on Roger Ebert's movie review web page
and knowing your interest in the ongoing health care debate, thought you'd
like to see it:
The irony about libertarians, who are often well-read and financially
stable, is that they are awarded the luxury of stating their egocentric
viewpoints precisely because government eliminates the state of nature.
In a true state of nature, where life is "solitary, poor, nasty,
brutish, and short," these libertarians would lose everything as the
desperate poor would simply kill them.
Cheers, w2009
******* SUBJECT: CORVAIR KUDOS
From: Wrsssatty @ aol.com
Date: 2009-Aug-25 18:02:32 MDT
As a member of NJACE, I was sent a link to Corvairs of New Mexico's Sept.
'09 newsletter. I just wanted to congratulate you on a well-written and
entertaining article ("Why No 50-MPG Cars?").
Bill Stanley
******* SUBJECT: SEPTEMBER 2009 CORVAIRS OF NEW MEXICO NEWSLETTER
From: eschakel @ earthlink.net
Date: 2009-Aug-24 14:55:07 MDT
Another great issue, Jim. Thanks for the plug for the 2011 Convention -
it seems like a long way off, but will be here before we know it! - Eric
******* SUBJECT: CNM NEWSLETTER
From: corvairjack @ verizon.net
Date: 2009-Aug-24 10:48:39 MDT
Another interesting newsletter.
But I see that I missed your deadline for publication of the new
feature "CORSA Corner", a column each month by a member of CORSA
board of directors. Did you receive it? Admit I didn't check your
August issue to see if you printed CORSA Corner sent by Jamie Reinhart.
Perhaps you did not receive. The e-mailing is the the chapters @ corvair.org
list, and I have learned that it is incomplete and inaccurate.
Read reports from RMCC and PPCC on 2011 convention. I plan to work
with the team to produce a first class event. I know that CNM has
much talent to contribute. Regards,
Jack Pinard, Western Division Director
******* SUBJECT: JUNE 2009 DENVAIR NEWS
From: eschakel @ earthlink.net
Date: 2009-Jun-03 19:44:12 MDT
Jim, I thought CNM did an outstanding job of preparing and conducting the
event. It was great to talk with you and see everyone.
Attached is the June Newsletter. It was very nice to see so many of you at
the Tri-State Meet last weekend; look for coverage in the July issue.
Eric Schakel - RMC
******* SUBJECT: TAOS TRIP
From: finchbooks @ tularosa.net
Date: 2009-Jun-03 20:54:02 MDT
Hi Jim, Heula and CNM folks,
Gayle and I wanted to tell all the CNM members that we had a safe trip
back home from Taos and that we really enjoyed the Tri-State event. The hotel
staff were totally pleasant and the site of the Kachina Lodge was perfect.
Thanks to all the CNM folks who worked so hard to make it such a perfect event.
Richard and Gayle Finch - Tularosa, NM
******* SUBJECT: FW: FW: CORVAIR TAOS ARTICLE
From: vertrees @ swcp.com
Date: 2009-Jun-03 17:22:26 MDT
HERE ARE SOME OF THE PICTURES MY GRNDSON TOOK IN TAOS.
I THOUGHT YOUI MIGHT LIKE TO SEE THEM. CHUCK VERTREES
----- Original Message -----
Subject: Re: Fw: Corvair Taos article
From: Brian Espinosa
To: Chuck and Julie Vertrees
Sent: Tuesday, June 02, 2009 10:48 AM
Grandpa,
Here is a link to the photos I took of the cars and the event. I thought
you might want to pass these along to the club. I shot a lot of HD video
with my camera, too but it will most likely be a while until I am able to
process it into something... but I do have some plans to do something with it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CORVAIRS IN ELGIN, ILLINOIS
Subject: newsletter stuff
From: Corvair66 @ aol.com
Date: 2009-Sep-17 16:09:53 MDT
My Dad just sent me an old book about my hometown. The town he
has lived in all his life. Browsing through it and found these
nice articles and pictures.
David Huntoon
(click photos for larger view)
 |
 |
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
JUST FOR FUN....
"Anything unrelated to elephants
is irrelephant." -------------- Snorgtees
"Canadians know
their Eh - B - Cs." ----------- Snorgtees
"I am disappointment
in you're grammar." ----------- Snorgtees
"I'm confused. Oh, wait,
maybe I'm not." --------------- Snorgtees
"Dyslexics are
teople poo." ------------------ Snorgtees
"3.14% of Sailors
are Pi Rates." ---------------- Snorgtees
"A day without Fusion
is a day without Sunshine." --- Snorgtees
THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME (contributed by Chuck Vertrees)
My mother taught me to APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.
I just finished cleaning."
My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that comes out of the carpet."
My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you
into the middle of next week."
My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so! That's why."
My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck,
you're not going to the store with me."
My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're
in an accident."
My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth, and eat your supper."
My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"
My mother taught me STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
My mother taught me about the WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father."
My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in the world
who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
=-================-=
ON THE FIRST DAY
From: jj ww [ forwarded by Chuck Vertrees ]
Sent: Thursday, August 13, 2009 9:29 AM
On the first day, God created the dog and said:
"Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or
walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years
and I'll give you back the other ten?"
So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said:
"Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give
you a twenty-year life span."
The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long
time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?"
And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow and said:
"You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer
under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's
family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for
sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day, God created man and said:
"Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give
you twenty years."
But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my
twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back,
and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."
So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and
enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to
support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks
to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit
on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you. There is no need to thank me
for this valuable information.
=-================-=
BUBBA AND EARL
Bubba and Earl were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud.
Bubba said, "Look up ahead yonder, Earl, it's a poll-ice roadblock. We're
gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!"
"Don't worry, Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin'
these beers. Then we'll peel off the labels and stick 'um on our foreheads,
and throw the bottles under the seat."
"What?" asked Bubba.
"Just let me do the talkin', okay?" said Earl.
They finished their beers, peeled off the labels, threw the empty bottles
under the seat, and each stuck a label on his forehead.
When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?"
"No, sir," said Earl. "We're on the patch!"
=-================-=
THOUGHTS FOR TODAY
Birds of a feather flock together ....
and crap on your car.
When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle.
It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
A penny saved ....
is a government oversight.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the
right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight ....
By then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house ....
is to buy a replacement.
He who hesitate ....
is probably right.
Did you ever notice ....
that the Roman Numerals for forty (40) are 'XL.'
If you think there is good in everybody ....
you haven't met everybody.
If you can smile when things go wrong ....
you have someone in mind to blame.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name ....
so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it.
For example, I'm sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles
don't hurt.
Did you ever notice:
When you put the two words 'THE' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs.'
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age
and start bragging about it.
Some people try to turn back their odometers.
Not me, I want people to know why I look this way.
I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
The older we get ....
the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth ....
think of Algebra.
You know you are getting old ....
when everything either dries up or leaks.
One of the many things no one tells you about aging ....
it is such a nice change from being young.
Ah, being young is beautiful ....
but being old is comfortable.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up
your zipper. It's worse when you forget to pull it down.
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called
witchcraft. Today, it's called golf.
=-================-=
BANANAS
A professor at CCNY for a physiological psychology class told his students about
bananas.
He said the expression 'going bananas' is from the effects of bananas on the
brain. Read on:
Never put your banana in the refrigerator!!!
Bananas contain three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose and glucose combined
with fiber. A banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of
energy.
Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous
90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world's
leading athletes.
But energy isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help
overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it
a must to add to our daily diet.
Depression: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people
suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is
because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts
into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make
you feel happier.
PMS: Forget the pills - eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood
glucose levels, which can affect your mood.
Anemia: High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the
blood and so helps in cases of anemia.
Blood Pressure: This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet
low in salt, making it perfect to beat blood pressure. So much so, the U. S.
Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make
official claims for the fruit's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and
stroke.
Brain Power: 200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) England school were helped
through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch
in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the
potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.
Constipation: High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore
normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to
laxatives.
Hangovers: One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana
milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help
of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and
re-hydrates your system.
Heartburn: Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer
from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.
Morning Sickness: Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar
levels up and avoid morning sickness.
Mosquito bites: Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the
affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly
successful at reducing swelling and irritation.
Nerves: Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system.
Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found
pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and crisps.
Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more
likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid
panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by
snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.
Ulcers: The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders
because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be
eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also neutralizes
over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.
Temperature control: Many other cultures see bananas as a 'cooling' fruit that
can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In
Thailand, for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born
with a cool temperature.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they
contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan.
Smoking & Tobacco Use: Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking.
The vitamines B6 and B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium
found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.
Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends
oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance. When we are
stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These
can be re-balanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.
Strokes: According to research in The New England Journal of Medicine, eating
bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as
much as 40%!
Warts: Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to kill off a
wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with the yellow side
out. Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape!
So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an
apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrate, three times the
phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and
minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around
So maybe its time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, 'A banana a
day keeps the doctor away!'
PS: Bananas must be the reason monkeys are so happy all the time! I will add one
here; want a quick shine on our shoes?? Take the INSIDE of the banana skin, and
rub directly on the shoe... polish with dry cloth. Amazing fruit!
=-================-=
WHAT GOES AROUND......
2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root.
1000 A.D. - That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer.
1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion.
1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill.
1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic.
2000 A.D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.
=-================-=
IMPONDERABLES.....
Do fish get thirsty?
Are unripened oranges called greens?
Did Noah include termites on the ark?
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?
How can the cemetery raise its burial fees and blame it on the cost of living?
How could I have been doing 70 miles an hour when I've only been driving for
10 minutes?
How do you dial a pushbutton phone?
How do you get off a non-stop flight?
How is it that a building burns up as it burns down?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
I saw a sign that said "seeing eye dogs only" and I wondered, who is supposed
to read this? the dog?
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
If you learn from your mistakes, then why ain't I a genius?
If the world is spinning so fast why don't we all get dizzy?
If the universe is expanding, why can't I find a parking space?
If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they stick Teflon to the pan?
If we weren't meant to keep starting over, why do we have Mondays?
If breaks are meant to be slow... then why do we call it "breakfast"?
If today is the first day of the rest of your life, what was yesterday?
If there's so much laborsaving machinery, why don't I have more free time?
If a person told you they were a pathological liar, should you believe them?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn
on the headlights?
Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?
If you're only as old as you feel, how come I can't retire yet?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Is the glass half empty, half full, or twice as large as it needs to be?
Since light travels faster than sound, do some people appear bright until you
hear them speak?
What do you do when you discover an endangered animal that eats only
endangered plants?
Was it a rich or a smart person who said: "Money can't buy happiness"?
We have lived through the sixties, seventies, eighties and nineties. Did we
then live through the noughties?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Where does the white go when the snow melts?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
Why call it a building if it's already been built?
Why are wise men and wise guys the exact opposites?
Why are they called "apartments" when they are together?
Who puts the thin ice sign in the middle of the thin ice?
Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?
What would the world be like without hypothetical situations?
Why can't life's problems hit us when we're 17 and know everything?
What is listed as the hair color on a driver's license of a bald headed man?
Why do they have ear piercing while you wait? Is there some shop where you
can drop them off and pick them up later?
Why do we bake cookies and cook bacon?
Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?
Why do they leave out the letter B on "GARAGE SALE" signs?
Why does night fall but never break, and day breaks but never falls?
Why do we always want to grow up when we're young and be younger when we're old?
You can't have everything... where would you put it?
=-================-=
MONEY
For money you can have everything, it is said.
No, that is not true.
You can buy food, but not appetite;
Medicine, but not health;
Soft beds, but not sleep;
Knowledge, but not intelligence;
Glitter, but not comfort;
Fun, but not pleasure;
Acquaintances, but not friendship;
Servants, but not faithfulness;
Grey hair, but not honor;
Quiet days, but not peace.
The shell of all things you can get for money.
But not the kernel.
That cannot be had for money.
(Arne Garborg, writer 1851-1924)
=-================-=
WHAT PETS WRITE
Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Diary......
Day 983 of my captivity
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are
fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt
to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending
comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed
in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could
hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due
to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means and how to use
it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -- and
seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the
guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors
have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is
safe.... for now.
[ contributed by Wendell - 13-Dec-2008 ]
=-================-=
ALMOST ONE-LINERS
From: Rolfe @ ieway.com (Tim Rolfe)
Subject: Optical exercise web site
Did you hear about the web site with eye exercises to help
alleviate eyestrain when you've been working on-line too long?
It's a site for sore eyes.
[=]
From: jokeotday-owner @ listbot.com (Seals)
Subject: Shuttlecock eating dog
My dog Minton ate two shuttlecocks yesterday.
Bad Minton.
[=]
From: bassmstr @ westol.com (Steve Bassler)
Subject: IRS
I called the IRS the other day. A Chinese woman answered. I
guess the administration is trying to cut out the middle man.
[=]
From: leflora @ vzinet.com
Subject: Raising kids the right way
Bring up your child in the way he should go...
and when he is grown, he'll sue you.
[=]
From: jokeotday-owner @ listbot.com (Seals)
Subject: Men and mad cow disease
Q: Why can't men get mad cow disease?
A: Men are pigs.
[=]
From: felix @ nice.usergroup.ethz.ch (Felix Rauch)
Organization: NiCE - NeXT User Group, Zuerich, Switzerland
Subject: Trendy vacuum cleaner
At the computer science department of ETH Zurich, the cleaning
staff uses a funny little vacuum cleaner that is round, orange
and has an Apple-sticker on it.
They call it "The iVac".
[=]
From: charles.egert @ wanadoo.fr (Charles Egert)
Subject: dental humor
Then there was my dentist in Paris who I heard one day mutter
half to himself while examining my teeth "I could fix that
but you'll be dead before it starts really bothering you."
[=]
From: jokeotday-owner @ listbot.com (Seals)
Subject: Plumber with distraught woman
Joe the Plumber is trying to placate a woman in her flooded kitchen.
"Please, madam," he says to her, "Crying will only make it worse."
[=]
From: ando4 @ earthlink.net (Jonathan Anderson)
Subject: Puns
Heralds don't pun. They cant.
[=]
From: dselesky @ ma.ultranet.com (Don Selesky)
Subject: Updated proverb for this millenium
Give a man a fish, and you've fed him for a day.
Teach a man to fish, and you can sell him a ton of accessories.
[=]
From: lyndale @ argonet.co.uk (Luke Anders)
Subject: Petrol crisis
Q: What costs $132 a barrel and uses vulgar language?
A: Crude oil.
[=]
From: holly @ golightly.com (Jan Moliere)
Subject: e.e. cummings last service call
"That's right; the upper-case shift works fine on the screen, but
they're not coming out on the damn printer... Hold? Sure, I'll hold."
[=]
From: amack @ airmail.net (A Mack)
Subject: gambling problem
I went to Isleta Casino and I saw a sign on the wall that said:
"If you have a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER."
So, I call them and say, "I have an ace and a six. The dealer has
a seven. What do I do?"
[=]
From roberto @ beisbol.org
Subject: old story
We was playin' the Homestead Grays in the city of Pitchburgh.
Josh [Gibson] comes up in the last of the ninth with a man on
and us a run behind. Well, he hit one. The Grays waited around
and waited around, but finally the empire rules it ain't comin'
down. So we win.
The next day, we was disputin' the Grays in Philadelphia when
here come a ball outta the sky right in the glove of the Grays'
center fielder. The empire made the only possible call.
"You're out, boy!" he says to Josh. "Yesterday, in Pitchburgh."
-- Satchel Paige
[=]
From: imapc @ imamac.org
Subject: Vista Beer
Vista Beer: A lot of people have taste-tested it and claim it's
wonderful. The can looks a lot like Mac Beer's can, but tastes
more like Windows XP Beer. It comes in 64-oz cans, but when you
look inside, the cans only have 32 oz of beer in them. Most
people intend to keep drinking Windows XP Beer until their friends
try Vista Beer and say they like it. The ingredients list, when
you look at the small print, has some of the same ingredients that
came in DOS beer, even though the manufacturer claims that this is
an entirely new brew.
[ This was probably a better joke when Windows 95 came out.
Does the release of Windows 7 make it totally obsolete? ]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MORE PHILOSOPHY LESSONS.....
LIFE AND A CAN OF BEER
From: mgw1979 @ hotmail.com (MGW)
Subject: Life and a Can of Beer
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some
items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he
picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded
to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed
that it was.
So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured
them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles
rolled into the open areas between golf balls.
He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They
agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it
into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded
with a unanimous "yes."
The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the
table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively
filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want
you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf
balls are the important things -- your family, your children,
your health, your friends, your favorite passions -- things
that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your
life would still be full.
"The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job,
your house, your car.
"The sand is everything else--the small stuff.
"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there
is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for
life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,
you will never have room for the things that are important to
you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your
happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical
checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18.
There will always be time to clean the house, and fix the
disposal.
"Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really
matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the
beer represented.
The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to
show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there's always room for a couple of beers."
=-================-=
EXCERPT FROM A BBC INTERVIEW WITH JOHN FOWLES FROM OCTOBER 1977
Reference:
http://www.fowlesbooks.com/BBC%20interview.htm
FOWLES: I'm not a political being really. One of my theories is that the
problems facing the world at the moment cannot be dealt with
politically. I would much rather see a takeover by the sociologists
and biologists. I think we're facing a biological crisis now and I
don't think the terms of contemporary politics really meet the
situation at all.
BRAGG: Biological crisis in terms of ...?
FOWLES: In terms of overpopulation.
BRAGG: Energy resources ...
FOWLES: Energy resources, pollution and all the rest of it.
BRAGG: You don't think those are being brought under control?
FOWLES: I don't think they're being brought under control. I don't see how
they can be, when the question is discussed nine-tenths of the time,
in terms of labour and capital and all Tories and Labour party. The
French have a new group. They call themselves "les Verts". An
analogy with "les Rouges", the Reds. Now, if we had a Green Party
in this country I should join that at once. That is, an ecological
and a scientifically based country. I think only the scientists can
really run society now and make decisions about the future.
BRAGG: Do you think it's ever likely to come about that they'll be given
the chance to?
FOWLES: Philosophers be kings? No, not until there's an appalling bloodbath
and a universal catastrophe.
=-================-=
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