This page contains material from the August 2002 newsletter

EDITOR Jim Pittman NEXT MEETING: Wednesday August 7th, 7:30 PM Galles Chevrolet, Lomas & University THIS MONTH: Dues Due Sylvan Zuercher Route 66 Cleanup Oliver Scheflow July Meeting Notes Chuck Vertrees Billiken Mark Morgan July Board Notes Chuck Vertrees The Driver's Seat Robert Gold Calendar of Coming Events Everybody CNM Ladies Anne Mae Gold Christmas Party Plans Rita Gongora Seven Years Ago Jim Pittman Ultravan Mountain Climb Richard Finch Modified 1966 Corsa Richard Finch A Day in Santa Fe Heula Pittman The Hot Driver's Seat Jim Pittman For Sale, Trade or Wanted Everybody A New Election System the Internet COVER: Your Board Members at Work - photo by Rita Gongora == Subject: Accounting vs. Ethics From: arbrown AT golden DOT net (Tony Brown) The current scandals over how large companies have been cooking the books reminds me of a basic accounting course I took years ago. The professor was explaining an accounting method called First In Last Out, which is useful for industries that accumulate large inventories of stuff. It explains why the oil industry, for example, reported huge profits during the 1970's when the oil shortage occurred. They stopped buying oil, so they had to use oil that, on paper, had been purchased in the 1930's at 20 cents a barrel. They of course sold it at current market prices, which accounted for their huge profits. One of the students put up his hand and said, "Excuse me, sir, but that doesn't sound very ethical to me." To which the professor replied, "You're in the wrong class, son, this is Accounting 101. Ethics 101 is two doors down the hall, on the left." Dues Expired or Due or Approaching Due: Tarmo Sutt 2002-May Terry Price 2002-May Richard Finch 2002-Jun Mark Morgan 2002-Jun Joe Ashton 2002-Jul Anthony Couture 2002-Jul Rick Covington 2002-Jul Robert Gold 2002-Jul John Mattern 2002-Jul Roger Chavez 2002-Aug Steve Johnson 2002-Aug Bill Reider 2002-Aug Debbie Deck 2002-Sep Robert McBreen 2002-Sep Lee Olsen 2002-Sep Jon Anderson 2002-Oct John Topp 2002-Oct Wendell Walker 2002-Oct If your membership is due or has expired, please send your dues to: Wendell Walker, CNM Treasurer 301 Utah Meadow Rio Rancho, NM 87124 Note: the Club will mail in your National dues when you renew, but only if you send us the renewal form from CORSA Communique! == Old Route 66 Cleanup Ollie Scheflow The club held its second cleanup of 2002 on Saturday July 6. I arrived at our traditional starting point at about 7:45 to find Del Patten there. I found that a good sign since we had only four and one "maybe" sign up at the meeting. There was a slight drizzle and then it started to rain, so we decided to sit in the car and wait, so we couldn't be accused of being "too dumb to come in out of the rain." Other members soon arrived and helped us wait. We were about agreed on calling off the cleanup until a later date because it looked like it would be a lasting rain, but by the time everybody arrived it was starting to clear up. We decided that we would give it a "go" even if it continued to drizzle. It turned out to be a nice day and we did not have any problems due to rain soaking up paper. We picked up 20 bags of trash including four "Yukon Jack" miniatures. The pickup crew were: Larry Blair, Steve Gongora, Del Patten, Jim Pittman, Mike Stickler, Kevin and Leslie Sullivan and Ollie Scheflow Thanks to all and especially to our new members the Sullivans. We had a fine turnout, especially considering that it was the middle of a long Fourth of July weekend. == JULY MEETING NOTES Chuck Vertrees The meeting was called to order at Galles Chevrolet at 19:35 on July 3rd. All officers were present. Sylvan Zuercher introduced Sy and Margo Feldman as guests and possible members. They have an original 1961 that is a daily driver. Treasurer Wendell Walker reported that CNM had $296.44 in the checking account and $4,761.03 in the GMAC fund for a total of $5,057.47. Wendell asked those who have not paid their dues to please get with it. He had to transfer money from the GMAC fund to the checking account. CAR COUNCIL REPORT: The Martineks are out of town during the Car Council meeting and John Wiker filled in for Mark. The Route 66 Extravaganza will be July 25th through the 28th. It will be on July 27th in Albuquerque in conjunction with the Neon Cruise. There will be a live TV remote following the cruise. Sandia Raceway presented a proposal to have a car show and a swap meet at their facility on the same day. The Car Council formed a committee to work on making it "a big affair" in 2003. It would be in an October time slot after the Balloon Fiesta. McDonalds will sponsor it with a $1.00 per car admittance going to the Ronald McDonald House. The Council swap meet will be on September 29th in Los Lunas where the car show was held. This has the advantage of being free with no cleanup cost as at UNM. There was a discussion on the advantages of Los Lunas over the Albuquerque Museum for next year's car show. Someone said that Mayor Chavez is mad about losing us to Los Lunas. It seems that funding for the museum is in question and that therefore they have no money to sponsor the Car Show. Someone volunteered to put together a paper to present to the Mayor so that he knows that money is the issue. Possibly he can help but nobody seemed confident that this would help. The All Club Picnic is August 4th at the Elks Club refuge in the Manzanos. (NOTE: this is the official CNM activity for August!) The Car Council meeting was adjourned at 20:45. (If you would like a more in depth report on the Car Council, check the CNM web page.) Our thanks to John Wiker for the report. Mark Domzalski reported that there were some changes in the CORSA by-laws. Portland has submitted a bid for the 2005 Convention. It would be with two co-chairs. Everything is set except the Portland chapter has not voted on it as yet. It is probable that Los Angeles will also submit a bid for 2005. It was announced that we had received an announcement and entries for The GWFBTASM. Many CNM members go to this every year. Thanks were expressed to everyone who helped with car problems in Flagstaff. This was followed by a long bunch of stories about the Convention in Flagstaff. I couldn't possibly record all of them. The Old Route 66 cleanup is scheduled for Saturday the 6th. It was decided to meet at the usual place but to make it at 08:00 so we could be finished before it got too hot. CNM members were reminded that the All Clubs Car Council picnic would be on August 4th. This is before the next scheduled meeting. The meeting was adjourned at 20:37. == BOARD MEETING JULY Chuck Vertrees The board meeting was called to order at 17:10 on July 17th at House of Covers. Present were Wendell Walker, Anna Mae and Robert Gold, Steve Gongora, Sylvan Zuercher, Jim Pittman, Larry Blair, Chuck Vertrees, and a cameo appearance by Jerry Goffe. The minutes of the last board meeting were approved as printed in the newsletter. Wendell reported that as of the 17th CNM had $387.44 in the checking account and $4,798.65 in the GMAC account for a total of $5,186.09. Larry Blair reported that Kathy is coming along. It will take quite a long time for her leg to heal. The Old Route 66 cleanup had a turnout of eight people which was very good. The weather was good and with the early start, it was not too hot. There were nine CNM Corvairs at the Santa Fe car show on July 4th. We had a pretty good location this year, instead of by the dumpsters. The Car Council picnic was brought up. It will be on August 4th and it is an event on the CNM calendar. Since it will be before the August meeting, it was decided to set up a calling list. Names and numbers were passed out. The Neon Cruise will be on 7/27/02. Some CNM members are planning to participate, but this will not be a planned club function. Planned for the August meeting is a talk by Ollie Scheflow about his and Mary Alice's trip around Cape Horn. At a later time we can look forward to a talk by Sy Feldman about his days flying with the RAF during WW II. The meeting was adjourned at 18:00. == FROM THE DRIVERS SEAT Robert Gold They say that as we get older time seems to go by faster. I can definitely agree with that saying. Many of the car events I've been waiting for are now history. You've already heard the tale of the "headin south" Car Council car show. Now it's time to reflect on the National Convention in Flagstaff, Arizona. One vivid memory of the event was our drive to Flagstaff through a fire created fog. I at first thought it ill-advised to drive in the direction of those horrible fires, but it turned out that being in Flagstaff was actually a vacation from the haze, since Flagstaff was upwind of the fires. Our caravan to the Convention had some interesting elements to it. First we had Jerry Goffe and his miracle late model convertible that only traveled 10 miles, but still arrived in Flagstaff. So let's see... if a car is driving due west at 70 mph and Arizona is burning in an easterly direction how many miles did Jerry go in 5 hours? You'll have to ask him for the answer to that question. The balance of our caravan was composed of my seldom-driven early convertible, a rented Intrepid, and Del Patton's virtual car. By virtual I mean he had a wonderful car to drive, only it wasn't ready for the trip, so he rode in the early convertible with me. I have to say I enjoyed his company immensely. After dropping off Del and bidding adieu to Jerry we spent the balance of the week alternating between tourist stuff and convention stuff. The two events seemed to converge when we went into a shop in Sadona and were greeted by a wall of framed Corvair ads. Some coincidence hugh? I think I can speak for all the club members who attended the convention that the event was well run and a whole lot of fun. As a V8 owner I had a particularly good time comparing my setup to the ones at the autocross and concours. Moving on to other things I would like to apologize for not making the last Route 66 cleanup. But I have an excuse.... you see I had this extreme need to buy a car (I don't think I have enough already) so one night about 11:00 pm I bought a 93 Caprice Classic on Ebay. The car unfortunately was in Kansas City, so I had to use the 4th of July holiday to get it. Now all I have to do is sell my 87 Ford Aerostar and we'll be a total Chevy family. -- That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I was told that the cleanup went well, so I would like to thank all of you who participated. Turning now to future fun - I'm planning on participating in the upcoming Neon Cruise (Saturday, July 27 at 6:45 at the Tumbleweed Restaurant on the west side) along Central with my two convertibles. I have the mental image of slowly driving down Central with the family in the cool of the evening with the top down. I had that image until Larry Blair pointed out to me that this is the monsoon season and we'll probably get rained on. That might be true, but last year Wendell Walker participated in the cruise and it didn't rain! I guess the best way to stop the rain is to make sure I don't wash my cars before the event. That would be a great excuse for not having to do the work. Anyway, I hope to see other club members out there. Next I want to remind everyone that our Club event for August will be the Council of Car Clubs Picnic that will be held on August 4 at the Elks Club refuge on south Highway 14 on the other side of the mountains. We'll meet at the Smith's at Central and Tramway at 10:00 am and caravan to the picnic. This event will be a great chance for the club to prove to the Council of Car Clubs that Corvairs of New Mexico is an active participant in their activities. To show how much I want things to go well I promise I will only say nice things to the Car Council Officers. Lastly, I want to thank the CNM Ladies, who at their meeting in July helped my lovely wife set up the quilt she's making for me. I had the great idea to take a bunch of pennants from different baseball teams and having them as the basis for a quilt. It seemed like a great idea, but getting it to the reality stage was quite a challenge. I wanted the Ladies to know Anne Mae is on her way to completing the project well ahead of schedule thanks to their help. I guess that's it for now. See you at the next meeting on Wednesday, August 7. -- Robert Gold == ============================================================================ C O R V A I R S o f N E W M E X I C O C O M I N G E V E N T S ============================================================================ | | | | | A u g u s t | S e p t e m b e r | O c t o b e r | | | | | | : : : : 1 2 3 | 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 | : : 1 2 3 4 5 | | 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 | 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 | | 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 | 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 | 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 | | 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 | 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 | 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 | | 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 | 29 30 : : : : : | 27 28 29 30 31 : : | | : : : : : : : | : : : : : : : | : : : : : : : | ============================================================================ Sun 4th Aug ........ NMCCC All-Club Picnic - Elks Lodge Wed 7th Aug 7:30 PM Regular Meeting - GALLES CHEVROLET 1601 Lomas NE Sat 10th Aug 1:00-4:00 CNM Ladies - the Domzalskis' - Placitas Wed 21st Aug 5:00 PM Board Meeting - House of Covers Fri 23rd Aug 9:00 PM Newsletter Deadline - Jim Pittman Wed 4th Sep 7:30 PM Regular Meeting - GALLES CHEVROLET 1601 Lomas NE Sat 14th Sep 1:00-4:00 CNM Ladies - the Sticklers' cabin in the Jemez Wed 18th Sep 5:00 PM Board Meeting - House of Covers Sun 22nd Sep ........ State Fair -- more information later Fri 20th Sep 9:00 PM Newsletter Deadline - Jim Pittman Sun 29th Sep ........ Swap Meet -- Los Lunas -- more information later Wed 2nd Oct 7:30 PM Regular Meeting - GALLES CHEVROLET 1601 Lomas NE Sat 12th Oct 1:00-4:00 CNM Ladies - TBA Wed 16th Oct 5:00 PM Board Meeting - House of Covers Fri 25th Oct 9:00 PM Newsletter Deadline - Jim Pittman =+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=++=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= CNM LADIES Anne Mae Gold On August 10 we'll meet at the Domzalski's home. They are out in Placitas, so maybe we could carpool out there. Give a call if you're interested (268-6878). On September 14 we'll be meeting at the Stickler's cabin. The month of October is open. In November we'll meet at the Goff home. The month of December is open. So let me know if you want to carpool or host us one of the open months. I hope you all come out for some cool watermelon and ice tea in July. Until then I hope you drive safely to all you CNM and non-CNM events. Keep cool and keep in the groove baby! Anne Mae Christmas Corvair Brunch Rita Gongora We are getting ready early this year: the Christmas Corvair Brunch is on track! It will be on Sunday December 1, 2002 at 11:00 AM at the Kirtland AFB Officers' Club, the same location as last year. It will be okay if you need to arrive after 12:00 noon. When you go to the Wyoming gate to KAFB be sure to have your driver's license, proof of vehicle insurance and the vehicle registration. For more information, call Rita at 292-5570 or 256-0551. == Seven Years Ago - August 1995 - Volume 21 - Number 8 Our cover featured another Mark Morgan fantasy, a "rare Lister-Monza" race car. Steve Gongora took notes while Sylvan Zuercher ran our meeting while our president, vice-president and secretary were out of town. Our finances were: $328 in the convention account; $392 in checking and $111 in savings; funds were depleted to buy the "Corvairs Are Gonna Rise Again" belt buckles. Bill Reider reported on the Car Council; two CNM members were officers; the picnic was coming up; the swap meet was on track for September. Bill also passed out new Clark's catalogs. Dennis Pleau reported on convention progress. The Santa Fe Fourth of July on the Plaza car show featured 74 cars and some 8,000 people were served a pancake breakfast. Our CNM Library Van was moved to Placitas for storage. Several cars for sale were announced. Clayborne Souza suggested an August campout, location to be Villanueva State Campground south of Las Vegas. Matthew Conrad from the city government talked to us about zoning and suggested how owners of several older cars could avoid running afoul of the law. Bottom line: inoperable cars must be out of sight in a completely enclosed building! You can't just move your junkers into the back yard. Larry Blair called for reports from the Dallas convention and previewed some upcoming tech talks. He said we needed to schedule a couple of photo rallies in preparation for our convention activities. Finally, we reprinted an article from ARIZONA HIGHWAYS in which a woman driving along through the desert had a breakdown in her 1967 Corvair, but with some common sense and perseverance was able to get the car and herself back to civilization unscathed. Fourteen Years Ago - August 1988 - Volume 14 - Number 8 On the cover: a Ferrari with the caption, "Why Compromise?" and the hint that for about $45,000 less you could own a no-compromise Corvair. Well, actually, no car is without compromise. We had $602 in the bank. There was an August car show in Cuba, an August Car Council picnic, a September Car Council swap meet, an August CNM trip to Quarai, Gran Quivera and Abo, and a September econo-run to Las Vegas. We also planned to meet the Dare-Vair driven by Lew Kuykendall when he came through New Mexico. LeRoy ran an auction that netted $77 for the treasury. New members: Jeff Newman, Kathy Craig, Philip Wye, Paul & Bruce Stark, Jerry & Margie Morris. Francis Boydston provided an interesting article on a trip to Nebraska in June; it was partly a tech tip because he told about removing the engine shrouding to let the engine run cooler. The air-conditioned 1967 sedan kept him and Ruth cool in 100-degree weather and got 24.5 MPG at 65. Twenty-one Years Ago - August 1981 - Volume 7 Number 8 We planned to go to Moriarty to participate in their Fourth of July parade. LeRoy coordinated a caravan to Denver to the 1981 CORSA convention. Bob Phillips talked to us about paint and body work. Mark Morgan was editing a newsletter for a Corvair club in Ventura County, CA. Tech tips discussed too-tight fan belts, adjusting belt guides, tools needed for body work, fixing squeaks and rattles, and organized parts disassembly. Twenty-eight Years Ago - August 1974 - What happened at our fifth meeting is not to be found in my records. == Date: Fri, 12 Jul 2002 13:05:44 EDT From: Richard F Finch To: casa unm edu Subject: Ultra Van Hill Climb, (Mountain Climb) Dear Editor, For about a week I have been considering your challenge for an Ultra Van Mountain Climb contest. As you remember, I was made President of Del's DOM club for trying to climb Ruth's Mountain in the Pecos Wilderness with a seriously bad distributor. So, I could be a formidable contestant in another mountain climb. I tell people that there were four items that I have solved since the infamous "rainy day getting a tow by a CORSA former president" incident. I have made a drain tube so that I can now drain 400 pounds of water ballast from the fresh water tank before attempting to climb to 8,700 feet in the sky. I have also designed a 5 gallon header tank for my fuel system to avoid carrying 30 gallons of 91 octane up the same hill. And then I have invested nearly $800.00 in one of Ray Sedman's spark adjusting anti-knock electronic distributor perfecting ignition systems. (That one thing alone should give me another 8 horsepower from my now 95 hp Corvair engine in our Ultra Van.) And the fourth and most important improvement is purchasing a set of #49 carburetor jets to secretly install in place of the very rich #52 jets that we were running that embarrassing day back last August when Mark and Elizabeth Domzalski had to pull us the last mile up the hill in order to get us out of their way going up to Ruth's cabin. The road was too slippery and slidey for me to get a proper run at it. And I have seriously considered buying a high-stall speed torque converter to raise the transmission engagement speed from a measly 900 rpm to a powerful 2,200 rpm. I could likely burn rubber all the way up Ruth's mountain road with that one little improvement. But, tell the Sullivans that I do not know what to do about the pots and pans and dishes in the overhead cabinets while screeching around the tight switch-backs on the mountain road. Would it be unfair if I removed the cabinets, stove, refrigerator, couch, TV and VCR before the hill climb (mountain klimb) contest?? But I do have a serious challenge for all the readers of this fine newsletter. Let all those who drive up to Ruth's cabin next year, in vehicles with water in their engines (non-Corvairs), be considered sissies to those of us who trust our Corvairs to take us anywhere we want to go!!!!!!! But I guess that we should allow Mark and Elizabeth to drive their 4 wheel drive vehicle up the mountain just in case anyone needs a tow. -- Richard Finch == FROM OUT OF THE PAST! Richard F Finch On our way to the CORSA National Convention in Flagstaff last month, we were tooling along in our Ultra Van, towing a half-size teardrop trailer, and Mark Domzalski pulled along side of us in a faded yellow 1966 Corsa Coupe. We were doing 65 mph, and after waving, Mark drove on by at the legal speed limit of 75 mph. As Mark pulled ahead of us, I noticed something very familiar about the Corsa he was driving. The tail pipe on the right side was smaller than a turbo, but it came out of a cut-out in the rear body sheet metal. Then I noticed that the left tail pipe came out of a matching cut-out in the left rear body sheet metal. And then I noticed a 1968 Camaro bow tie emblem on the engine cover lid where the turbo emblem usually goes. And I thought I could see three gauges on the dashboard just above the radio. And then it dawned on me. Mark was driving a Corvair that I had not seen since 1968! Almost 34 years ago! Mark was driving Jim Pittman's famous 1966 Corsa that Jim and I had modified in 1968 and 1969!! Jim and I had removed the often pesky 180 hp turbo engine and replaced it with a factory crate 140 hp engine which we blue-printed, balanced, and ported and polished. Most of the mods we made were per Bill Fisher's book "How to Hot Rod your Corvair Engine." And the mods worked well too. Jim proceeded to win the very next autocross he entered after we modified his Corsa coupe. Knowing that I could not catch the 1966 Corsa going up the mountain to Flagstaff, I decided to ask (at the convention) Mark about his reason for taking Jim's car to the Convention. Later at the Little America Hotel, I saw the car parked in the parking lot and walked over to it to confirm that it was indeed the same car that we had modified in the late 1960's, and what a memory refresher. Sure enough, I remembered all the modifications that Jim had done to the car at my house at 2506 Stanford Avenue, Alamogordo, New Mexico in 1968. Later at the convention, Mark explained that he had recently bought the Corsa from Jim and was planning to restore the body and paint in the near future. Little did Jim and I know in 1968 that one day a former CORSA President would be the owner of that very significant Corvair. -- Richard Finch == Fourth of July in Santa Fe Heula Pittman Nice cars! Lovely weather! Terrific conversations with old friends! Update from Mark about the 1966 Corsa he is still happy he bought! Breakfast with CNM guys and gals and kids! Jerry's tales of bird watching at Bosque del Apache and Candelaria Nature Center! The inexpensive "zoom lens" camera! Crowds of people, all happily enjoying the holiday! A middle-of-the-summer getaway from work and the general rat race! All these things made for a lovely, relaxing day on the plaza in Santa Fe. == The Hot Driver's Seat Jim Pittman (C) 2002 Last night I dreamed that I lived to be 95 and then died. At the Pearly gates Saint Peter met me, consulted his clipboard, and said, "Come with me, I've got something special to show you." He led the way around behind the mansions and chapels and concert halls to a large barn-like structure. Inside was the smell of gasoline, oil, cleaning solvents, welding, leather and vinyl. A huge immaculate work area was brightly lighted. Shelves of shiny metal parts, nuts, bolts, springs, sheet metal, suspension castings, catalogs and assembly manuals were on every wall. Beautiful cars were everywhere, each with one or two overall-clad men working on them. Now and then men would roll a car out the door, start it up, and drive away. "Here's your spot," said Saint Peter. "Your record in life was truly remarkable. You will receive a commensurate reward here in Eternity." Before my eyes was a white Yenko Stinger. It had royal blue trim. It was a 1966 coupe, but when I thought how nice it would be to drive a Stinger convertible, it instantly morphed into a topless Yenko. The engine and drive train, spotlessly clean, were partly disassembled on a work bench. A quick glance told me this was no ordinary engine. It had overhead cams and there were three fuel injection ports on each head. Above each bank of cylinders was a turbocharger with stainless steel exhaust pipes. I peered under the car. The rear tires must have been ten inches wide, beautiful black treads and sidewalls, mounted on gleaming magnesium wheels. Up front was rack-and-pinion steering. In the trunk was a 1961 gasoline heater; in the engine compartment was a tiny but powerful air conditioner compressor. "Get to work," said Saint Peter. "You can rebuild the engine as you wish. There are plenty of parts so you can mix and match to make any level of tune you want. And, of course, any tool you could possible need is close at hand. If you require any technical information, just call one of our shop stewards or look in one of these manuals. If you don't see a part, just call out the Clark's number and it will instantly appear on the bench." I looked over the engine for a moment, then grabbed a wrench and started removing bolts. The wrench was perfectly balanced and its non-slip finish would have made a Snap-On engineer cry. The bolts all clicked free as smoothly as if they had been made by Swiss watchmakers. All the engine parts were sensuously shaped and finished. I weighed the forged pistons; they were within milligrams of identical. The rods were all perfectly shaped and appeared to be made of titanium. As I removed more parts, I was overwhelmed at the design and finish of each component. When I had the engine and transaxle completely disassembled, I thought over how I'd modify the car to be the best Corvair that had ever existed. I'd port the heads, bore the cylinders, tune the six exhaust pipes, install electronic ignition, set the caster and camber for optimum handling. It would have four-wheel power disk brakes, of course. Day after day I worked on the car. I scarcely felt a need to eat or sleep and quickly lost track of time. It was a joy to select, modify and assemble perfect parts with perfect tools. I knew this was going to be the best ride of my life, but it was so much fun to work on the car that I had no compulsion to rush my work to hasten the moment of starting the engine. Finally the last modification was done, the last part attached, the last adjustment made. I slid into the driver's seat - it fitted me exactly - and admired the feel and precision of the shifter, clutch and leather-wrapped wheel. All was ready - I twisted the key. There was a whirr of the starter, a purr and growl from the engine, a soft whoosh from the fan, a silky whine as the twin turbos spun up. The oil pressure needle moved up to its green line, the ammeter quivered just on the positive side of center, the tachometer waved up and down in exact synchrony to my foot's blipping of the throttle. The head temperature needles moved off their stops and the manifold pressure gauge registered a healthy vacuum. The gas gauge read "F". Saint Peter walked up. He was wearing a red baseball cap. "Nice job," he said, "You've got your dream car here. Let's go for a ride." He got in. The baseball cap had the word "Saint" on the front in shimmering yellow letters. "Just head out that way," he pointed, "and drive wherever you want." We rolled out of the shop, along a driveway and onto smooth macadam pavement. Soon we were on a winding country road. The car handled beautifully. Up and down through the gears, smooth precise shifts and velvety clutch action. The steering responded more to my thoughts than to my hands: the car just went where I thought I wanted to go. We came to the top of a hill overlooking a lush green valley and I pulled the car to the side of the road. I noticed an unpleasant smell. "Oh, not to worry, that's just the heater," said Saint Peter. "Those O-rings are exactly the same as the ones General Motors specified for the car. All the gaskets, too, all original." "But gas heaters aren't supposed to do that," I said. "Oh, I'm afraid the gas heater up front is a fake." Saint Peter said with a chortle. I looked over at him in alarm. Did he have something of a leer in his eye? Were the yellow letters on the front of his cap rearranging themselves to spell "Saint" then "Saitn" then "Satin" then "Satan"? Was his jacket turning into a red cape? Was his walking stick turning into a pitchfork? I tried to open the door, but it wouldn't budge; the top came up and latched by itself. The heater was on full blast and I could see... smoke! Droplets of oil were condensing on the windshield! A smell of battery acid, burned oil and gasoline assaulted my nose and eyes. My passenger opened his door to get out. "Sorry, we played a bit of a trick on you," he said with an evil laugh. "As you'll see, this isn't quite Heaven, and you don't quite have the world's best car. But, you'll get to drive it, and for all eternity. The doors and windows won't open for you, but it will never run out of gas!" And with that he slithered out of the seat, taking care not to catch his tail as he slammed the door. == * * * * * * * * * * * * * FOR SALE, TRADE OR WANTED * * * * * * * * * * * * * * FOR SALE: 1995 Caravan Voyager. 70,000 miles. Mechanic's special (it has a bad transmission). Asking $800.00. Call Steve at 256-0551 FOR SALE: Two tire chains for 13" wheels. Best offer. Larry Blair 821-1386 FOR SALE: 1960 Monza coupe. Needs ground up restoration. Automatic, Radio, gas heater. Powder coated engine shrouding. Full set of '60 Monza wheel covers. Extra front & rear suspension, with less than 27000 miles on them. Assembly & Shop Manuals for the 60 Corvair. Extra gas heater parts. $550 Call Bill Reider at 299-4597 FOR SALE: RB block with freshly ground crank .010, .010 with distributor gear, eccentric for fuel pump, spacer, and slinger. Clevite 77 bearings rod & main .010, .010, has 891 cam. Will install bell housing with new seal for either automatic or standard. Block ready to install pistons and jugs. $400 For Sale: Six cylinder jugs bored to .030, one new TRW forged piston and five used TRW forged piston mounded on rods. Jugs need to be honed. All pistons are .030 oversize, includes one set of .030 chrome rings. $300 For Sale: Used Clarks aluminum oil pan five quart. In good shape and will include new oil pan gasket. $50 For Sale: Two 110 heads with valve job. Heads have been cc'ed. Comes with copper head gaskets. $400 For Sale: One Dale rebuilt Harmonic Balancer: $100 Buy all of the above engine parts for: $1050 Other Parts For Sale: = Black Clark's carpet for late coupe: $90 = Padded dash Clarks 65-66 installed on metal support, black: $140 = Black headliner Clarks late model coupe: $60 = Late model 3.55 automatic differential: $75 = One complete set of Corvair Underground late model fuzzies: $50 = One NOS late model front bumper: $175 = One rebuilt idler pulley w/new bearing: $40 = One new blower bearing 65-69 installed in hub: $45 Call Bill Reider at 299-4597 * * * * * CNM ADS ARE FREE TO CNM MEMBERS, $5.00 TO NON-CNM MEMBERS * * * * * == Subject: Microsoft, Dell to Create New Voting System From: jgl@sprynet.com Source: where else? - the Internet. Actual news story, January 11, 2001: NEW YORK (Reuters) - Unisys Corp., Microsoft Corp. and Dell Computer Corp. are teaming up to create new voting technology in the wake of the ballot-counting fiasco in the U.S. presidential election, Unisys said on Thursday. Blue Bell, Pa. - based Unisys said its system will replace outdated systems that produce irregularities such as those reported in Florida in the November 2000 election. The system will integrate election processes from voter registration to counting results, Unisys said. Follow-up stories: BLUE BELL, PA (November 12, 2002) - After being unable to recover the results of last week's congressional election, the Unisys Help Desk closed the ticket today with a recommendation to reboot the system and try the election again. REDMOND, WA (October 25, 2004) - Microsoft announced today that because of production delays in Election '04, next month's presidential election has been pushed back to the 2nd Quarter of next year. WASHINGTON (August 3, 2005) - President George W. Bush and former Vice President Al Gore conceded today's election at 8 pm after preliminary results showed them losing overwhelmingly. Final results, released immediately after polls closed in Hawaii, showed both the incumbent Republican and his Democratic challenger failed to garner 100 votes nationwide. Former Louisiana gubernatorial candidate David Duke finished in second place with 3,322 votes on the strength of strong returns from Palm Beach County, Florida. The winning ticket received 1,073,741,824 votes -- all write-ins. "President-elect Gates and I are honored and humbled by this historic victory," said Vice President-elect Michael Dell in his acceptance speech. =end=