This page contains material from the August 2003 newsletter

EDITOR: Jim Pittman NEXT MEETING: Wednesday August 6th, 7:30 PM Galles Chevrolet, Lomas & University THIS MONTH: Group photo, 1999 State Fair The Editor Dues Due Sylvan Zuercher July Meeting Notes Chuck Vertrees July Board Meeting Chuck Vertrees The Driver's (Hot) Seat Robert Gold For Sale, Trade or Wanted Everybody Calendar of Coming Events Everybody CNM Ladies Anne Mae Gold Seven Years Ago Jim Pittman July Route 66 Cleanup Ollie Scheflow New element discovered Joel Nash The bum www.netfunny.com Ten best golf caddy replies www.netfunny.com COVER: Tarmo's 1965 Corsa on the Plaza, Santa Fe July 4th At the 1999 State fair: Dave Huntoon Jerry Goffe Mark Domzalski Jim Pittman Anne Mae Gold Javier Gold Sarah Gold Mike Stickler Dennis Pleau Robert Gold Tarmo Sutt Jon Anderson Dues Expired or Due or Approaching Due: Jerry Goffe 2003-March EXPIRED Gordon Johnson 2003-June EXPIRED Mark Morgan 2003-June EXPIRED Richard Foster 2003-July Robert Harvey 2003-August Larry Hickerson 2003-August Steve Johnson 2003-August Jacob Schlessinger 2003-August Chuck Vertrees 2003-August Sylvan Zuercher 2003-August Lee Olsen 2003-September Jon Anderson 2003-October Willard Davis 2003-October John Topp 2003-October Jason Ward 2003-October If your membership is due or has expired, please send your dues to: Wendell Walker, CNM Treasurer 301 Utah Meadow, Rio Rancho, NM 87124 Note: the Club will mail in your National dues when you renew, but only if you send us the renewal form from CORSA Communique! === July Meeting Notes by Chuck Vertrees The meeting was called to order at 19:30 on 7/2/03 at Galles Chevrolet. Vice-President Joel Nash called the meeting to order since President Robert Gold was in Spain with his family. All other officers were present. Treasurer Wendell Walker reported that CNM had $593.18 in the regular checking account and $4,611.10 in the GMAC account for a total worth of $5,204.28. The minutes of the last meeting were approved as printed in the newsletter. There were 24 members at the meeting. Sylvan is in the hospital so he could not introduce our guest. He is Ray Trujillo and he bought the '64 that used to belong to Jim Matthews. Ray is a possible new member. Like all good Corvair addicts, Ray was coming back from Mexico and ran across a '65 in Phoenix and just had to have it also. Dave Huntoon said that there were not many at the last Car Council Meeting. There is a lot going on however. See the CNM web site for a list of activities. The web site will also give details about the Car Council picnic on August 10th. You can meet at Central and Tramway at 10:00 AM to convoy out or go out South 14 to the turnoff for Apple Valley, which is Buckboard Road. Go west until you come to the Elks Refuge. The July 4th show in Santa Fe is on again. Those who are leaving Albuquerque at 06:00 will meet at the Bernalillo bridge on I-40. The "Route 66" cleanup is scheduled for the 12th. We will meet at the usual place early, at 08:00. That way we can get finished before it gets too hot. There was discussion with Tarmo about where we might like to go for the Aspencade in October. The foundry was one of the places mentioned. Tarmo and Kay will look around. Members were reminded that October is election of officers month. Please consider running if approached. Appreciation for the Corvette tour stopping at Galles was voiced. Joe Trujillo worked real hard making it work out as well as it did. He put in some long hours. Larry Blair received a State award as a Professional Engineer. Larry has had some interesting jobs in the state and elsewhere. Maybe we can get him to tell us some of the things he has done. Joel mentioned a '68 Monza coupe with 110 and Powerglide that is in Mountainair. The owner says it "needs to be tuned for the altitude". He wants $3,000 to $3,500 for it. There should be an ad in this newsletter. Tarmo was wearing one of his CNM T-shirts in Santa Fe and was approached by a man who wanted to know if he was interested in a Judson supercharger for a Corvair. Most of them were made for Volkswagens but some were made for Corvair, MGs and other cars. Tarmo bought it and brought it to the meeting. It was big and heavy! We all admired it, then discussed the various methods of supercharging used with Corvair engines over the years. There was a discussion on how best to retain members. There were quite a few suggestions made which the board will discuss. The meeting was adjourned at 20:30. === July Board Notes by Chuck Vertrees The meeting was called to order at House of Covers at 17:33 on 7/16/03. Present were Jim Pittman, Joel Nash, Steve Gongora and Chuck Vertrees. The minutes of the last meeting were approved as printed in the newsletter. There was no Treasurers report. The 4th of July show in Santa Fe went well. There were five Corvairs and one '62 Buick from Albuquerque. Steve was almost home when his white coupe acted as though it had dropped a valve. He was able to tow it to Dave's for repair. The International CORSA Convention started yesterday. We don't know if anyone from CNM went. The Car Council Picnic is Sunday August 10th at the Elks Refuge in the Manzanos. It will be from 10 to 4. Those who went last year had a good time. Drinks and a grill will be supplied. You can get there by meeting at the shopping center at Central and Tramway, or just proceed east on I-40 or old Route 66 and turn right (south) on South 14 (I know they call it something else now) to Buckboard Road (Apple Valley) and turn right (West). There was a good turnout at the "Old Route 66" cleanup so it only took about an hour. There was not as much trash as usual. Joel said this was probably because of the heat. Those who habitually throw trash didn't want to open their windows and lose their air conditioning. There is not anyone lined up to make a presentation at the August meeting. It was suggested that maybe Larry Blair could give a presentation about military engineering in Viet Nam. Members need to be reminded that election of officers will take place at the October meeting. Denver and Pikes Peak both had a nice write-up in their newsletters about the Tri-State. There were lots of pictures in the Dripline from Colorado Springs. Jim remarked that Dennis and Debbie Pleau have been doing a fine job editing the Dripline and it is among the nicest newsletters we get. There was a discussion about the club possibly needing some help with the duties of membership chairman because of Sylvan's illness. There are several CNM members who are good possibilities. We'll ask them. Or, they could volunteer. As Secretary of CNM I get quit a few E-mails and I will start adding them to the newsletter. I received one on the 9th from "Vegas Dan." He has cars and parts for sale. He says that he has 9 complete engines, 13 bodies, 10 doors, wheels and all kinds of parts for $2200. His phone is 970-533-7359 evenings. He lives in SW Colorado. I don't know if he will sell separate or just what he has other than the above description. The meeting was adjourned at 18:14. === From the Driver's (Hot) Seat Robert Gold Today I feel a little like Rip Van Winkle. It seemed like yesterday I was writing this column for the July newsletter and just like that it's time to write another one for the August newsletter. I guess three weeks out of the Country will do that to you. My family and I just returned from a mega vacation to the land of fine food and crazy drivers -- Spain. I won't bore you with a detailed description of our travels (but we do have a lot of nice pictures you can see if you want!) However I do have a car related observation to give to you. I last traveled to Madrid five years ago. I spent a lot of time then looking at a series of rather uninteresting cars driving real fast through the streets. I was really impressed when I saw a Seat (that's a form of Fiat) taxi with a spoiler on the back. It's really hard to keep those four cylinder boxes on the ground. Anyway, this time around it is all different. All those little cars are now replaced with SUV's, minivans, and a host of really neat high performance cars. Cars that I've only seen on TV made by Audi, Porsche, Toyota, and Mecedes-Benz were there before my eyes. But the biggest surprise was that the PT Cruiser is all the rage. I wonder how the Spaniards relate to a retro US design like that, but they are buying a lot of them. Unfortunately, I didn't see one Corvair or Chevrolet for that matter. But it is obvious that Spain has spent the last 5 years trading with countries around the world and spending a lot of money. Speaking of money, if you go there make sure that you bring a lot of dollars. The euro is worth 20% more than the dollar. I want to thank Joel Nash for filling in during my extended absence. When my family was planning that 3 week trek out of the country it was a comfort to know that Joel would be there to keep things going. I had a nice talk with Joel several days ago and he brought me up to date on club activities. I was sad to hear that Sylvan and Leroy were having health problems. I hope that they are both on their feet real soon. Joel said that turnout for the Route 66 cleanup was really good. He also said that between a light load of trash and the good turnout the cleanup didn't take too long. Many thanks to the CNM'ers who did the work. I took some time to go through the CNM web page to see what I missed while I was gone and it seems I missed quite a lot. I would have liked to have been there to say hi to Dennis and Debbie Pleau when they came to pick up their new car from the Gongoras. Actually I really felt bad about missing some of that great Sadie's cooking! One interesting thing for me is that my kids now won't confuse Steve Gongora's white 4 door with mine. Though his was much nicer - from a few feet away they both looked very much alike. That reminds me of a story from my European travels. While we were traveling we accumulated so much stuff we had to buy another bag to carry it all. When we got back to the U.S. I couldn't remember what the bag looked like when it came out at the baggage claim. Have you ever tried to look at a tag on a piece of luggage as it travels by you? Luckily Anne Mae was able to spot it. I also see that there was a good sized group that went to the July 4 car show in Santa Fe. It was good to see John Wiker in several pictures. I've missed seeing him at the meetings. I don't see how you all could get up so early for that trip to Santa Fe. That's real dedication to the car hobby. That reminds me of something from my Spanish travels. We were in the north of Spain visiting Anne Mae's relatives on the 4th. I asked her cousin if Spain had a celebration day that was like our 4th of July. I was thinking about how Mexico had the 5th of May to celebrate, so it seemed logical that the Spanish would have a similar day. Her cousin said that Spain didn't celebrate an independence day - there were many countries that celebrated being independent from Spain, but Spain hadn't become independent from anyone. That's a shame, since all those fireworks manufacturers were losing a lot of sales in Spain. I would suggest that they could celebrate the day Franco died because the country became a democracy and the economy took off after his passing. As they said on Saturday Night Live -- "It's July 4th and Franco is still dead." I guess that's enough of me giving my views on the world situation. Looking at upcoming events, I want you all to remember the August 10 picnic with the Car Council. Since I'll be the Rep in the future I'd like to see a good turnout so they won't give me a hard time. As many of you know I haven't had the best relations with the Council in the past. Also, remember that Sunday, September 21 is the State Fair Car Show. I just checked with the Fair folks and I'll be picking up the load of ribbons soon. That means if you enter your Corvair you're going to get a whole lot of ribbons to take home. I'll be giving you more information in next month's newsletter. I didn't plan to say anything too controversial this month, but a recent article in the Albuquerque Journal just raised my blood pressure. They had an extensive article on the state of the Wheels Museum. That's the same museum that CNM members supported so strongly a couple of years ago. It's been a while since we heard any news about the museum and the news we're receiving now is not very good. It seems that the good efforts of those who acquired the Santa Fe Railroad property for the museum has been turned into a development that may not even include the museum. I think the group in control of things needs to understand that the reason that the railroad yards are available for development is because the people of this area wanted to see a museum on the site. I hope it is not too late to save the museum and that reason will prevail in the planning for the site. -- I'll now get off of my soapbox. I'd like to remind all of you that the terms of the current officers will be ending soon and that we would like to encourage you to run for the office of your choice. For many years I was the type of member that would attend events and meetings, but never committed myself to an office. Four years ago Sylvan encouraged me to run for the Vice President position and here I am now the outgoing President. I never regretted my decision to run for office. It's been a lot of fun to work for such a wonderful club. So here's your chance to be one of "the few - the proud" - the Corvairs of New Mexico. I guess that's all for now. Be sure to attend the next meeting on Wednesday, August 6 at 7:30. I hope to see you there! -- Robert Gold * * * * * * * * * * * * * FOR SALE, TRADE OR WANTED * * * * * * * * * * * * * * FOR SALE: Book on MG-T series. $7,500.00 - Jerry Goffe - 345-3100 Comes with an MG-TD. FOR SALE: Super Manual for 1960 Cushman. $3,000.00 - Jerry Goffe - 345-3100 Comes with a 1960 Cushman. FOR SALE: 1961 Honda Scrambler - no book. $2,650.00 - Jerry Goffe - 345-3100 FOR SALE: 1968 Chevrolet Corvair Monza Coupe, original 110 engine and powerglide transmission. All glass is very good. Tires are like new. The color is Medium Bright Metallic Blue and interior has been replaced with Clark Corvair original black headliner, panels, and carpet. The front seats are original thin line type and have been covered with original covers from Clark. The floor pans and trunk bottom are solid. This Corvair has been garaged for the past several years. It does need to be tuned for high altitude operation. This Corvair is a bargain at $3,500.00 with full set of 13" three-bar spinner spoke hubcaps, or $3,000.00 without the hubcaps. These prices are firm. Robert Berry P. O. Box 455 Mountainair, NM 87036 Phone: 505-847-0637 E-Mail: wb5bjd AT aol DOT com * * * * * CNM ADS ARE FREE TO CNM MEMBERS, $5.00 TO NON-CNM MEMBERS * * * * ============================================================================ C O R V A I R S o f N E W M E X I C O C O M I N G E V E N T S ============================================================================ | | | | | A u g u s t | S e p t e m b e r | O c t o b e r | | | | | | : : : : : 1 2 | : 1 2 3 4 5 6 | : : : 1 2 3 4 | | 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 | 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 | 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 | | 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 | 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 | 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 | | 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 | 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 | 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 | | 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 | 28 29 30 : : : : | 26 27 28 29 30 31 : | | 31 : : : : : : | : : : : : : : | : : : : : : : | ============================================================================ Wed 6th Aug 7:30 PM Regular Meeting - GALLES CHEVROLET 1601 Lomas NE Sat 9th Aug 1:00-4:00 CNM Ladies - meet at the Golds' residence. Sun 10th Aug 10:00 AM NMCCC Picnic - Elks Refuge - old South 14 Wed 20th Aug 5:00 PM Board Meeting - House of Covers Fri 22nd Aug 9:00 PM Newsletter Deadline - Jim Pittman Wed 3rd Sep 7:30 PM Regular Meeting - GALLES CHEVROLET 1601 Lomas NE Sat 13th Sep 1:00-4:00 CNM Ladies - TBA Wed 17th Sep 5:00 PM Board Meeting - House of Covers Fri 19th Sep 9:00 PM Newsletter Deadline - Jim Pittman Fri 26th Sep ....... NMCCC Auction - more information later Sun 28th Sep ....... NMCCC Swap Meet - more information later Sun 28th Sep ....... State Fair Car Show - Robert Gold - 505-268-6878 Wed 1st Oct 7:30 PM Regular Meeting - GALLES CHEVROLET 1601 Lomas NE Sat 4th Oct ....... Old Route 66 Clean-up - more information later Sat 4th Oct early! Balloon Festival starts - continues through week Sat 11th Oct CNM Ladies - TBA Wed 15th Oct 5:00 PM Board Meeting - House of Covers Fri 24th Oct 9:00 PM Newsletter Deadline - Jim Pittman Wed 5th Nov 7:30 PM Regular Meeting - GALLES CHEVROLET 1601 Lomas NE Fri-Sat 7-8 Nov Great Western Fan Belt Toss & Swap Meet - California Sat 8th Nov 1:00-4:00 CNM Ladies - TBA Sat 15th Nov ....... CNM Pot Luck & Auction - more information later Wed 19th Nov 5:00 PM Board Meeting - House of Covers Wed 19th Nov 9:00 PM ===EARLY=== Newsletter Deadline - Jim Pittman Wed 3rd Dec 7:30 PM Regular Meeting - GALLES CHEVROLET 1601 Lomas NE Sun 7th Dec Christmas Party - more information later Sat 13th Dec 1:00-4:00 CNM Ladies - TBA Wed 17th Dec 5:00 PM Board Meeting - House of Covers Fri 19th Dec 9:00 PM Newsletter Deadline - Jim Pittman (early) =+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=++=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= === CNM LADIES Anne Mae Gold Hola amigas, ooopa, got to change language gears. As Sara so well put it, "I'm not used to having people speak to me in English". I'm looking forward to seeing as many of you as possible on August 9th. Come over to 1301 Valencia Dr. from 1-4pm. Let's have some tapas and agua de Valencia (aka Mimosas...orange juice and champagne!). I'll bore you all with pictures. Don't let that deter you! Bring your handicrafts, gossip and apetito. We need to set up a meeting schedule for the next few months! I'd also like to send Sylvan and LeRoy my best wishes for speedy recoveries. If you need anything, please let us know. The number here at the Golds' is 268-6878. Hasta pronto! AM === Seven Years Ago August 1996 Volume 22 - Number 8 Jim Pittman On the cover Billiken was telling convention visitors that his Corvair had been to Pojoaque, Tesuque and Claunch. President Mark ran our meeting. A guest was Marshall Navaroo and new members were Michael Hurst and Bruno Power. Treasurer Will said we had $1087.62 to spend or save. The Car Council report said the Albuquerque Museum car show was a success and the annual picnic was to be on August 17 at the Elks Refuge, on Buckboard Road, 9 miles south of I-40 on Old South 14 (now N.M. 337). The swap meet was to be October 5-6 at the UNM football stadium. Bill Reider said the convention was a financial success; we had over $20,000 in the bank with most bills paid. The Chuckwagon bill was being negotiated. Debbie Pleau reported there were 415 registrations and 861 name badges issued. There were 111 trophies awarded. A few T-shirts, pins, badges and cookbooks are left. All chairpersons were asked to complete a report on their activities, including any problems that came up. We intended to write a How-to-run-a-convention booklet for use in future conventions. (We did this. I wonder how useful it has turned out to be.) Ollie reported on our Adopt-A-Highway preparations which were nearly ready: we were getting the second mile of old Route 66 east of Albuquerque. Many planned to attend the Fourth of July car show in Santa Fe. A convention wind-down party was scheduled for the Goffes' on July 13th. Because of continued fire danger in our forests, we decided to cancel our summer campout and instead go to the NMCCC picnic. Mark Domzalski had a tech tip on checking wheel studs to be sure yours have not been overtightened, Bill Reider warned about old carb jets that had been drilled out, part numbers for Corvair mirrors were listed, and Heula Pittman compiled comments on our convention that appeared in other CORSA club newsletters. Fourteen Years Ago August 1989 Volume 15 - Number 8 The cover was a "Mad Max" cartoon by Mark Morgan showing what you need to drive in L.A. these days. CNM inherited $166.44 from the deceased Alamogordo White Sands club. Dale Housley and Clayborne Souza were thanked for putting on a terrific Red River Tri-State. There was a batch of bad AC fuel pumps; look for a metal tag with "6022" on the bad ones. President Bill Hector commented on going on Harley motorcycle caravans in Illinois years ago. Bill Reider said if you mounted your ignition coil too low so it touched the engine sheet metal, it would wear a hole in the bottom, letting all the "OIL" out of the "COIL" and the "C" that was left would not make a spark. Tom Martin's column featured Wendell Walker and the sale of a commercial popcorn popper. Finally, there was a page of comments gathered from those who attended the Red River Tri-State, and the observation that twenty years earlier two men had been walking on the moon. Twenty-one Years Ago - August 1982 - Volume 8 Number 8 The cover had a Spyder convertible from a Chevrolet ad. At our meeting we had $363 to spend. Sylvan presented dash plaques for the March fun rally. Jack Bryan previewed the club picnic to be held at the Doc Long picnic area on the road to the crest. Francis previewed the swap meet in October; he had seven spaces reserved and George Morin would have a show car in one of them. Bob Phillips told about the bad experience he had with gold paint on a Corsa; the paint faded and developed micro chips after a year in the New mexico sun. Dan Mowery of Rader Awning gave a presentation on upholstery, carpet and convertible tops. He suggested, do upholstery first, then do paint, then do convertible top to minimize scratch damage. Bill Reider continued his modifications to a 1965 Monza sedan to bring it up to "1982" specifications. Richard Twilley provided a cross-reference for air and oil filters for Corvairs. Some fifty name brands were listed! Twenty-eight Years Ago - August/September 1975 - Volume 1 Number 8 Did you find the cover's hidden design? Where to store your extra Corvairs? Jack Sellers had space available at $4 per month. We were investigating front license plates with club logo. They'd cost about $1.69 in lots of a hundred. Sylvan was trying to round up speakers for our meetings; the first was Ike Meissner who spoke on generators. We planned to hold elections at the October meeting and needed a slate of candidates. New members were Charles McWhorter, Robert Langlois, David Langlois and Steve Solow. === July Route 66 Cleanup Ollie Scheflow We held the second clean-up of 2003 on Saturday July 12th. We had five persons show up that were not on the sign-up sheet for a total of ten people. More people to help certainly makes things go faster! Everyone arrived by 8:00 AM and we finished up by 9:45, before it became too hot. The trash was lighter than normal, except for the southwest half mile which had a lot of large pieces of metal and tires. Those participating were: David Huntoon Steve Johnson and daughters Jessica and Yvette Joel Nash Ollie Scheflow Kevin Sullivan Chuck Vertrees John Wiker and Ronnie Mann, a cadet from John's reserve unit Thanks to all for participating -- Ollie. === Subject: A Comfortable Marriage Date: Wed, 6 Nov 2002 19:30:00 PST Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny From: mikev AT bwwholesale DOT com (Mike Vermillion) Because my parents were married on Aug 27, my dad gives my mom an "anniversary" card on the 27th of every month as a way of showing her how much he loves her and appreciates their 40 years together. I was talking to Dad this weekend and he told me that when he gave Mom her most recent card she told him, "I'm so glad you do this every month. It reminds me it's time to give the dogs their flea medication." Selected by Jim Griffith. MAIL your joke to funny@netfunny.com. The "executive moderator" is Brad Templeton. Please! No copyrighted stuff. Also no "mouse balls," dyslexic agnostics, Clinton/Yeltsin/Gates meets God, or "OJ will walk" jokes. For the full submission guidelines, see http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/ This joke's link: http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/02/Nov/anniversary.html === Subject: New element discovered Date: Wed, 8 Jan 2003 11:16:24 -0700 From: Joel Nash (joelnash AT msn DOT com) Cc: jim pittman (casa AT unm DOT edu) ---- Original Message ---- From: Ricardo _______ Sent: Wednesday, January 08, 2003 10:17 AM To: DocNet Subject: (Doc-Net) New element discovered (altho' this is old news from years ago) I still have some hope for the new governor - but much remains to be seen. This post from my brother about a new take on particle physics gives me concern. Rick ______ -- Albuquerque Subject: Discovery - Physical Science Salmon Jack Systems has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been tentatively named "Governmentium." Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected and it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay,but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass." You will know it when you see it. === Subject: The bum From: oakes AT wcta DOT net (Charles & Peggy Oakes) Date: Wed, 7 May 2003 19:30:00 PDT A man was walking in the city, when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking bum who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. The man took out his wallet, extracted two dollars and asked, "If I gave you this money, will you take it and buy whiskey?" "No, I stopped drinking years ago," the bum said. "Will you use it to gamble?" "I don't gamble. I need everything I can get just to stay alive." "Will you spend the money on greens fees at a golf course?" "Are you NUTS! I haven't played golf in 20 years!" The man said, "Well, I'm not going to give you two dollars. Instead, I'm going to take you to my home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife." The bum was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad." The man replied, "That's OK. I just want her to see what a man looks like who's given up drinking, gambling, and golf." Selected by Jim Griffith. MAIL your joke to funny@netfunny.com. The "executive moderator" is Brad Templeton. For the full submission guidelines, see: http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/ This joke's link: http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/03/May/bum.html === Subject: Ten best golf caddy replies Date: Mon, 19 May 2003 19:30:01 PDT # 10 Golfer "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake." Caddy "Think you can keep your head down that long?" # 9 Golfer "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course." Caddy "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth." # 8 Golfer "Do you think my game is improving?" Caddy "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now." # 7 Golfer "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?" Caddy "Eventually." # 6 Golfer "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world." Caddy "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence." # 5 Golfer "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction." Caddy "It's not a watch - it's a compass." # 4 Golfer "How do you like my game?" Caddy "Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf." # 3 Golfer "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?" Caddy "The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day." # 2 Golfer "This is the worst course I've ever played on." Caddy "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago." # 1 Best Caddy Comment Golfer "That can't be my ball, it's too old." Caddy "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir." Selected by Jim Griffith. MAIL your joke to funny@netfunny.com. Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply. Web users, you can read a random joke from the archives just by bookmarking: http://www.netfunny.com/cgi-bin/randomurl/rhf/jokes/masterlist This joke's link: http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/03/May/golflines.html =end=