Useful Tid-bits

Many personal problems can be reduced to one of these causes:

1.

The Ima fallacy. Labels like: "I'm a dumb-bell," "I'm a weak person," "I'm a failure," etc., can become self-fulfilling prophecies. If every-one who has taken something that was not rightfully his/hers were a crook, we would probably all be crooks. Instead of labels, use action words: "I'm acting stupid," "I'm learning to...", "I'm going to...", etc.

2.

The S-isa fallacy. No tangible object has intrinsic value. Value is something people place on objects, and not everyone values every thing equally. This is true of properties like pretty, delicious, and even pornographic. Always add "to me" when describing your subjective feelings about an object.

3.

The R-isa fallacy. Ethical and moral judgments are not really intrinsic properties of behavior. Whether an action is good/bad, or right/wrong depends on current social conventions, not on any absolute truth. It is appropriate to adopt standards for your own behavior but not to judge others by them.

4.

The either-or fallacy. Our language habits are such that we tend to think in terms of opposites: white-black, up-down, big-little, etc. This tendency often leads to false dichotomies: Either I'm happy or I'm unhappy, either I'm popular or I'm unpopular, either I'm a success or I'm a failure. Most such factors actually fall on a continuum, with many intermediate shades of grey.

5.

The constancy illusion. We naturally tend to see ourselves and the world around us as being the same from one day to the next. Actually, however, everything is always changing. Learn to accept the fact that "you can't step into the same river twice."

6.

The size illusion. Things appear smaller when we look up or down at them compared with when we look out horizontally at them. This illusion applies to the moon, to an automobile from the top of a tall building, and to parts of the body.

7.

The completion complex. Although the hardest part of a difficult job is usually getting started, the next hardest part is usually finishing. This is because it is when you finish that your work is judged by others. It is easier to complete a number of small jobs than one large one.

8.

The inferiority complex. We all spent many childhood years being inferior to adults. Although there are a few designated ages when one is old enough to vote/drink/be-president, the transition to adult-hood is so gradual that few of us ever really shed the feeling of being inadequate. But most of us learn to act self-confident.

9.

The insuperiority complex. For some people, there is only one acceptable outcome, namely winning, being best, earning the top prize. Most such people are doomed to failure because there are not very many openings at the very top. It is best to set some realistic criteria for success, and raise them from time to time.