How should one deal with personal problems? One approach is to dig into one's past in search of the cause of the problem. Perhaps the chronic worrier felt unwanted as a child and developed the worrying habit over fear of being abandoned. Or perhaps some sickness led to worrying about death. I have two objections to this historical approach to solving problems: In the first place, it usually takes a long time to ascertain the cause of the problem, and in the second place, finding the cause rarely solves the problem anyway. More often than not, people just go right on living with the problem once they find out that its not their fault that they have it.
I prefer the pragmatic approach in dealing with problems. You may have heard the expression, "If it ain't broken, don't fix it." The pragmatic approach is: "If it's broken, fix it!" Never mind why it's broken or who broke it...never mind why you have a problem or whose fault it is...fix it. The goal is to get results, to solve problems, or at least to confine them to restricted parts of your life.
When the problem involves an undesirable habit of any kind, the pragmatic approach is to change one's behavior to something that is more desirable.
Practicing new behavior in a familiar
situation replaces old habits with new ones.
The Principle of Behavior Modification should NOT be interpreted to mean that the old habits are actually erased from memory. On the contrary, the biological changes that comprise learning are essentially permanent. But a new habit can, with enough practice, become stronger than the old one and hence replace it.
If you're a worrier, you need to develop mind control. Because our minds have only one track, we can't feel sad while smiling or singing happy songs, we can't be afraid while whistling carefree tunes, we can't have a negative, pessimistic attitude while reciting positive, optimistic words. Some people call it the "power of positive thinking," but mind-control is simply a matter of doing something or saying something to yourself that produces the desired mood. Of course, that may be easier said than done. . .until you've learned how to do it.
Hence, mind-control is the pragmatic solution to excessive worrying and it also applies to other self-destructive mental habits. Loneliness, self-pity, anxiety, and mild depression are some of the moods that are perfectly normal in moderation, but that may become so habitual that they interfere with studying. In every case, the trick is to find words that create, for you, the desired mood. For example when you feel depressed, force yourself to remember happy events; when you feel anxious, try to imagine a relaxing scene. It takes practice to develop mind control, but the ability to stop an undesirable train of thought by replacing it with the desired one is a skill that will serve you well the rest of your life.