We are all sexual organisms. The very fact that we exist proves that our parents, our grandparents, and indeed, all of our ancestors were motivated by sexual needs. But even though our sexual nature is normal and natural, sex is a problem for many young people. They may not yet have learned the difference between lust, which is the natural desire for intense physical pleasure, and love, which is the equally natural desire to give pleasure to another person. The difficulty, of course, is that most young people do not yet have a loving relationship and also do not have many approved outlets for their sexual needs.
Sexual Solitaire. Had Mark Twain written about sexual self-stimulation, he probably would have said just the opposite of what he said about the weather: "Nobody talks about masturbation, but everybody does it." Actually that is as it should be provided one accepts the practice as a private means of satisfying the sex drive. However many people have been misled by hearsay, myth, superstition, or false advice. None of the widespread misconceptions about bad effects of masturbation...insanity, weakness, wasting oneself, going blind, etc...is true. You can abuse any part of your body, including your genitals, but reasonable practices are normal, natural, and healthy.
To understand why students should maintain sexual balance, you need to know how motivation affects perception (how we see things). If a word or an object is ambiguous, so that it can be interpreted in two ways, motivation biases the way we interpret it. A hungry person may hear the word, "stake," and think of a "steak." A fearful person may hear "dye" and think "die." In like fashion, a sexually deprived student may be distracted by words used in a text or lecture that could be given an erotic meaning. Be it "date" in a history course, "arousal" in a psychology course, or "climax" in a music appreciation course, our language contains many words that tempt the mind toward non-academic trains of thought. It is harder to study if any of the biological drives (hunger, thirst, sex, pain) is very strong.
In order to avoid controversy, health officials are reluctant to recommend masturbation as the safest way to satisfy one's biological need for sex. However it should be clear that those who favor abstinence as the best way to prevent venereal disease and unwanted pregnancy are advising you to abstain from social, not from solitary sex. In like manner, advice to those who choose to be "sexually active" is intended for those who engage in heterosexual or homosexual acts. In sum, do not be driven to seek other kinds of non-marital sexual behavior because of a mistaken belief that sexual solitaire is less acceptable.
Heterosexual behavior. In a sermon given at many colleges, the Reverend Martin Luther King said that the most frequent question asked of him by students was, "How far should I go on a date?" He added that he was disappointed that students had to ask that question because he believed that they should have long since made a decision about what was "right" for them. Actually, in many cases, the intent of the question was not quite what the Reverend King thought. It was whether a person should be expected to go further than s/he wanted. But the answer is the same: Set your own standards according to your conscience, and behave accordingly.
There is a useful strategy for controlling one's behavior in a wide range of contexts. Imagine the types of situations in which you may find yourself, and decide in advance what you intend to do. For example, the best way to avoid "impulse buying" when shopping is to have a list of what you need and never buy anything not on that list. In a gambling situation, set a limit on how much you are willing to bet; in an "all-you-can-eat" situation, set a limit on how much you should eat; and in an inter-personal situation, set a limit on how intimate you will become. It is the spur-of-the-moment decision that is most likely to be one that you will later regret.
One point about sexual behavior is seldom mentioned: Sex is sometimes used as a form of aggression to express dominance over another person. This is obvious in the case of rape, but it is true whenever one person uses another to satisfy his/her lusty desires. I mention this point because either or both people may fail to distinguish between aggression and love. In loving sex, one focuses more on what you can give than on what you can get.
Homosexual behavior. Science has not yet answered the complex question about the origin of a person's sexual preference. There may be a genetic factor, or some very early experience may determine one's orientation. Three facts are reasonably clear: A few homosexual encounters neither cause nor reflect a preference for members of same sex, homosexual orientation is very resistant to change, and one's sexual preference does not affect one's performance in other contexts. The gay/lesbian life style is being accepted by society.